


No Harm Done

by insaneaboutwolfsbane (werelocked)



Category: Teen Wolf (TV)
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2014-11-10
Updated: 2018-02-07
Packaged: 2018-02-24 19:54:29
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 16
Words: 24,000
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2594432
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/werelocked/pseuds/insaneaboutwolfsbane
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>"Now, now dear. No harm done." Liam's mother used to whisper that to him after particularly bad temper tantrums. Now that saying was replaced by a different mantra. "The sun, the moon, the truth."</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This was edited by  mcallmescotty  on Tumblr. Go follow her, she's fabulous

His mom’s cheerful knocking announced the morning. “Breakfast!” she chirped with three quick raps on the door. The floorboards creaked as she shuffled down the stairs to the kitchen.

Liam buried his face into the pillow and contemplated his options. He could suck it up and go downstairs, but rolling over and going back to sleep was looking more favorable by the second. He could probably get away with one more day off if he really wanted to, but he’d already missed too many classes and too much homework.

His suspension had officially ended last Friday, anyway.

Mason crawled along the floor, out of his sleeping bag. "You heard your mom. Can't be late for your first day back."

His best friend was already sitting at one end of the kitchen table by the time Liam came down, tapping furiously on his phone. Mason's soggy cereal sat abandoned in front of him so Liam stole a spoonful. Instead of snapping at him to get his own, he looked up and smirked. “Well well, if it isn’t my delinquent best friend. Is lockdown over already?”

"Mason!" Liam's mother snapped. She turned off the stove and glared at him, lips curved down just slightly.

You won’t believe what the kids at school are saying about you," Mason continued, ignoring her. "Can't believe I didn't tell you this earlier. When the fight broke up and Simons dragged you off to the principal’s office, some people thought you’d been expelled. There was even a rumor of you being sent to juvie." He snorted.

"And you’ve been standing up for me, protecting my tarnished image?" Liam’s mouth twitched with a small grin.

"Hell no." his friend grinned. "I’ve been letting them build your badass reputation. You’re a hero, bashing Julian’s face in."

"Don’t encourage him." Liam's mother interrupted, giving him a reproving glance. "You know your violence is not the answer. My son sometimes can’t control his - problem."

Liam’s stomach twisted, the soggy cereal now even less appetizing. He hated that word, his mom’s default term to describe his condition. More than that he hated the painfully sad look on her face. He avoided her guilty gaze and kept his eyes on his food.

"He defended me." Mason shrugged. "I'm grateful." Liam stole a glance to catch his friend's smile.

A tense silence stretched for several minutes. His mom cleared her throat and Liam finally looked at her to see her eyes were strangely misty. “That reminds me. Liam, don't forget to take your medication.”

Liam grunted in thanks and inhaled the rest of Mason’s cereal before bolting upstairs. He slammed and locked the bathroom door, trying to focus. Gripping the edge of the counter, he stared at himself hard in the mirror.

Ten months.

It was only this last May the school suggested professional analysis and the results destroyed his last hope that he was normal. Nobody in his family had known the official meaning of Intermittent Explosive Disorder, or IED, before then. They had just been watching him going through it for years.

What started out as major temper tantrums he never quite grew out of increased in intensity as Liam got older. Pulses of fury lead to violent outbursts that his teachers couldn’t explain so they shoved him off to a doctor that swore Liam’s new medication would ‘fix everything’.

This was the fourth magic solution since then. Forgive him for having doubts. The mood stabilizers had made him feel numb while the anti-anxiety drugs made him twitchy. If he was being fair, Liam would admit that his second prescription had worked the longest. It had lasted through his last month of middle school and his family's move from New Mexico to California in the summer. 

Back to the town his mom left after his father's death two years ago. Mom struggled for a while, wanting to stay in the city her husband's job had moved them to. She eventually realized California was better. Liam got his best friend back; Mason welcomed him as if their separation hadn't even happened. Mom got better doctors. Liam got better drugs. 

He continued with it when he started Devenford Prep in August, until lacrosse tryouts started the middle of February. Unlike with other sports Liam played, the increased drowsiness and sluggishness on the lacrosse field was unacceptable. So he stopped taking them. 

Until then, he had only played lacrosse through club organizations that never even had championship tournaments. Liam had decided that since he wanted to be on a real team now, he needed every advantage he could get.

He was doing a pretty good job of faking it, too. He had made one pill disappear every morning then went to school and acted like the happy little kid his parents and teachers wanted him to be. The kind that didn’t destroy school property after bombing a test. And if he came home late from football - baseball - soccer practice with more bruises than normal, nobody knew. Aside himself and the older boys he’d provoke into derailing the sport into little more than full-on fighting. It was a good system.

Two weeks ago, Liam was about to start his walk home after practice when he saw Mason. His friend usually caught the bus, so it was unusual to see him still at school so long after it ended. Liam didn't pay much attention at the time, though he was happy to have company for his walk. The way Mason limped and kept glancing around every now and then escaped his attention.

The next day practice had run longer than expected so it wasn't until the day after that Liam saw Mason again. He saw firsthand when Mason was dragged out of the building and around to the dumpsters. The asshole - whose name he later learned was Julian - had time to land one punch before Liam was on him. The full brunt of repressed rage burst out of Liam and onto the guy’s face.

Because Devenford’s school board had a zero tolerance violence policy and because Liam couldn’t really claim self-defense the district had ‘no choice’ but to suspend him. They ‘understood his motives’ but warned him that he ‘should be grateful’ and that ‘if further infractions occurred, more severe penalty would take place’.

His mom took it even further, banning him from football and baseball and threatening to do the same for lacrosse. It took a lot of begging from both Liam and mom’s boyfriend - now fiancé, since Todd Geyer had proposed as soon as the three of them moved to California - to keep Liam on the team. The reintroduction of the medication was a necessary compromise.

The only good thing that came from the whole mess was the reaction from mom’s fiancé. He’d promised to train Liam in lacrosse whenever he had time off from the hospital.

Maybe with the extra practice he’d be good enough to get an edge on the fogginess. Maybe he’d be good enough to make it through second cuts and hell month. If he was really lucky, maybe good enough to make team captain.

"Liam, you’re gonna be late!"

He flinched at his mom’s voice. No doubt she was hovering outside the door, just waiting to swoop in and inspect his pill box under the green cap labeled ‘Monday’. At least she stopped trying to be subtle about it.

She knocked twice. “Liam?”

Gritting his teeth, he eyed the green box. He dry swallowed one pill quickly before opening the door and pushing past his mother. He heard the faint click of the Monday cap closing as he went downstairs. As he walked out of the house, he pictured the satisfied smile on his mother’s face. His frustration bubbled to the surface briefly and he willed the pill to work faster. Liam clenched his fists, taking longer strides to the end of the street where Mason waited.  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Side note: I don't really know much about IED, and research only gets me so far. If I get anything wrong, I'm sorry! Also we never get Liam's stepdad's first name, and I thought it would be weird having him call him 'Geyer' or 'Doctor Geyer.' I just used the first name of the actor who plays him for now.


	2. Chapter 2

The meds kicked in right in time. The wary glances he received from the few teachers and students who had seen or heard about it didn't get under his skin. A few girls who had seen it happen also made comments. Some applauded him for defending his friend while others called him out for being a bully and said “fighting was never the answer.”

Liam didn't bother reacting, focusing instead on adjusting to the medication. Since it had been so long since he had quit miracle cure #3, his mind had gotten used to not being medicated again. He had decided to start the new prescription two days ago, in order to minimize the chance of side effects by now. In particular, he desperately hoped no mood swings would pop up during afternoon lacrosse practice.

By last period, he was antsy. Thoughts about practice had been distracting him through all of class, pulling him away from the subject of math. _What if Coach cut me while I was gone? Tryouts are only two weeks, and he only saw me the first day before I was suspended..._ As soon as the bell rang he bolted for the locker room, intent on being the first one there.

"Liam!" Mason called out to him just as he reached the locker room door. Moments later he pushed past a group of girls and jogged up to Liam. "Dude, how's it feel to be back?"

"Alright," Liam shrugged. "Could do without all the staring, but it's all good."

"Yeah," Mason nodded. "People are jerks. Have you heard anything else from the principal?"

"No, but I heard that asshole Julian only got two weeks suspension." Liam felt a flicker of anger and clenched his fists.

"That jackass should have been expelled," Mason agreed with a snort. "But hey, I forgot to mention this morning. Have you thought about taking the bus from now on? You and I are on the same route, so we can ride together."

Liam paused. His friend had told him last night that he was over what happened, but Liam clearly read the flicker of fear on the other's face. "That's a good idea. I always walked at our old house, cause it was only five minutes away. I never thought about changing that when we came here, but maybe I should. Plus I don't need the three-mile workout, with lacrosse starting." He added casually.

"Exactly." Mason agreed, looking a little relieved. "Do you want to take the bus today so we can figure out where your closest stop is?" Liam's attention was diverted when someone slipped past them into the locker room. His nerves returned, worse than before, and he started to follow before realizing Mason was still talking. "... Except obviously not, because lacrosse."

Ducking his head guiltily, Liam apologized. "My bad, dude. Listen I'll talk to you later though, okay?"

"I'll text you." Mason's voice was cut abruptly as the door to the locker room closed behind Liam.

He immediately looked for Coach Bard, intent to find out if he could keep on with tryouts and possibly beg, if necessary. When he made it to the office in the back of the locker room though, Coach's desk was empty. There was someone else in the chair across from it, already waiting.

 _Damn._ Liam had hoped he could get his questions out of the way before the rest of the team arrived, in case it really came down to him pleading his case. Unfortunately the locker room was already growing busy with other boys putting on their gear.

"Coach said he'd be late, and we should go ahead and suit up." The figure slumped in the chair spoke. Liam couldn't recognize who it was because they had pulled the strings of their hood out all the way, leaving only a small hole open where their mouth was. "He'll be here to say some stuff before we go out on the field."

"Shit!" Liam ran out of the office back to the first row of lockers by the entrance. He had left his bag of lacrosse gear here the first day, and being suspended meant not being able to set foot in school to retrieve it.

He searched frantically for the familiar gold sports bag with no luck. Defeated, he trudged back into the office to wait for Coach. Liam hovered in the doorway, tapping his fingers against the frame nervously. Without his gear, he couldn't practice today even if Coach Bard agreed to let him. He didn't even know the chance of that happening, since he wasn't particularly close with this coach.

The club team he played on in middle school never cared about what happened while he was at school. Now, whatever happened in class could affect what happened in lacrosse. That's why Liam had also been making an effort to maintain his grades, so nothing could jeopardize his position on the team. Until he beat that guy's face in.

"Woah hey! Liam you're back!" The boy in the hoodie stood up suddenly, towering over Liam.

There were few people Liam knew were tall enough that he had to really crane his neck to see them. "Brett? Why are you lurking in coach's office?" Liam wouldn't consider himself short, Brett was unnecessarily tall.

"I have to talk to him about stuff. Dude, where have you been? You've missed four days of tryouts." Brett sounded scandalized.

Liam grimaced. "I know. I got suspended for getting in a fight."

Brett barked out a laugh. "What, some kid take your lunch money or something?"

"No, dude. He beat the shit out of best friend." He corrected seriously. "When we got out of practice, I saw it happen."

Pulling his hood off, Brett looked shocked. "Sorry, man. You shouldn't have been suspended but I'm glad you stuck up for him."

"I just... I get so _mad._ " Liam frowned. "I don't really remember what happened, it was like I blacked out. I just saw him hitting Mason and just snapped."

Brett nodded. "That's not just you. I would've done the same for my sister."

Looking up at him, Liam smiled. Aside from Mason, Brett was one of the first people Liam had met when he transferred to Devenford. He was also one of the only ones to know about his IED. Brett told him up front he didn't understand it very well, but whenever Liam mentioned it, the upperclassman always seemed to go out of his way to assure Liam he wasn't so different.

Brett was a year older, and the two of them didn't have any classes together. They had already played on a couple of the same teams, and Liam was pretty impressed by what a good athlete Brett was.

"Don't worry about practice today." Brett told him. "Coach made cuts the end of last week, so I think he's letting us have a breather before he starts pushing us again. We'll find out for sure who's on the team by this Friday."

Liam bit his lip. "Did Coach mention anything about me ? I know I was only there for one day, but I did all the drills and I didn't mess up too bad-"

"Don't worry," Brett repeated, flashing him a grin. "Coach told me he liked your speed the first day, and I can definitely see us working out some kinks in your techniques. Your name wasn't on the list of cuts he posted Friday."

Breathing a sigh of relief, Liam felt some weight lifted off his chest. However the full pressure wouldn't be relieved until he heard the words from the man himself.

At that moment Coach finally arrived, carrying a pile of folders with a distracted frown. "Talbot, why the hell aren't you dressed?" He rounded his desk and plopped heavily into his chair.

"I just had some questions about last Friday's practice sir. But, um..." Brett's eyes slid over to Liam, ready to let him go first.

Coach turned his attention on the other boy. His frown deepened, and he looked confused. "Dunbar? What–" He stopped suddenly to reach under the desk and pull something out. "There's your stuff. Get the hell out."

Liam's breath was knocked out of him as Coach threw a gold sports bag into his chest. He couldn't catch his breath, too focused on what he just heard. "Wha - why?" he wheezed.

"I cut you last week. You're not on the team."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> As always, thanks to mccallmespooky for editing.


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey guys! I'm so sorry for the long break, finals hit me hard and then I got caught up with the holidays.  
> Unfortunately there's also been a communication problem with my beta so everything in this chapter is unedited. If it changes later, I'll post a note with the next chapter.

While Liam stood speechless, Brett spoke up. "Why not Coach?"

"Why wouldn't I cut him?" Coach Bard looked incredulous. "The kid skips out on four days of practice, and I find out he was suspended for attacking some other kid."

"It wasn't an attack!" Liam cried out, rage bubbling in his chest. "I was defending my friend!"

Coach wasn't impressed, giving Liam a dirty look. "Devenford has a zero tolerance policy for violence."

"You don't know what-" He began again, but stopped when Brett put a hand on his shoulder. He blinked in surprise. When had Brett stepped between him and Coach?

"Sir, I think Liam's sorry for what he did," Brett said. "He apologized. If you keep him on the team, I'll keep an eye on him. Plus, didn't you say you needed more new players as good as Liam is? It's a win-win." He said casually.

Liam stared at the back of Brett's head. _What the fuck?_ He wasn't the slightest bit sorry for what happened. Hell, he'd gladly do it again. He stepped forward, ready to argue some more.

But the other two weren't even paying attention to him. Coach was nodding, looking more relaxed. Brett gave him an easy smile, like he had just gotten what he wanted. "Liam and I will go get dressed for practice, then."

Coach sighed, and turned his glare back to Liam. "Fine. But watch yourself, kid. One mistake and you're done."

Biting his tongue, Liam left the office. Brett nodded at him before he shut the door so he could speak with Coach about whatever he needed to. As he changed he ran over what Brett had said.

Why would he volunteer to ‘keep an eye’ on Liam? The other boy probably had a million better things to do than make sure the first year with anger issues didn’t fuck up again. Had Brett really heard coach say he was good? He had no way of knowing if either of those things were true.

As the team headed out of the locker room and toward the field, he was still confused. His teammates began stretching out as they waited for coach. While sitting down for a calf stretch, Brett plopped down next to him.

“Do you think you can keep up with us?” Brett asked with a smirk.

“I’m not sorry.” Liam blurted.

“What?”

“You told coach I was sorry. But I would never apologize for what happened.” Liam stated.

Brett shook his head. “I know, and I don’t think you should. I was just trying to convince Coach to keep you on the team. It doesn’t matter what I said, but it worked!”

He was right. He gave him a bright grin, and Liam couldn’t help but smile back. He would have said anything to stay on the team too, wouldn’t he?

Coach blew his whistle, and Brett nudged his shoulder. He jumped up, then offered his hand to pull Liam to his feet.

The next two hours were the longest of Liam’s life. Brett’s earlier prediction of an easy practice could not be more wrong. After a two mile warm-up run, Coach alternated between lacrosse drills and pushups and other workouts at fifteen minute intervals. Breaks were scattered throughout when players would gasp for breath before the next drill.

As soon as Coach blew the final whistle, Liam collapsed in the grass. He swore his heart was trying to beat its way out of his chest. As he lay there, Brett’s face loomed over him. The upperclassmen helped him to his feet again and suggested they go refill their bottles in the locker room.

They walked back up to the school in silence, disrupted only by Liam’s heaving breaths. It irritated him that Brett was less exhausted than he was, but the other boy had probably been at practices like these while Liam was suspended. This was also his second year on the team, he must have been conditioned to this by now.

"So, your disorder..." Brett started.

Liam blinked, surprised at his bluntness. Brett continued in a rushed voice. “Sorry, do you call it that? Is that the right term?”

Liam shrugged. He didn't really _call_ it anything. Most of the time he just spent wishing that it didn't exist at all.

“Coach is going to be watching your every move, waiting for the slightest mistake for an excuse to not let you play.” Brett said. “But I think if you can get through final cuts, he’ll relax once the actual season starts. My job is to help you make it through.”

His eyebrows rose. “Your _job?_ I’m not a pet project-”

Brett huffed a laugh. “Always so defensive. No, you’re my friend Liam. And I want to do anything I can to help.”

The word startled him. “Friends.” It wasn’t that strange, not with all the time the two of them practiced for other sports together or studied during mandatory study hall for sports players. Brett was probably the person Liam spent the most time with, even more than Mason. It was just weird to hear it acknowledged.

“Thanks,” Liam said. “I’ll let you know.”

"Anyway, don't think I'm gonna go easy on you this season." Bumping his shoulder, Brett grinned. "You've got a lot to make up for."

"Whatever you say, _captain._ " Liam teased.

He laughed, shaking his head. "Don't jinx it!"

"Please." Liam scoffed. "I know that’s what you were talking to coach about. Everyone knows it'll happen.”

“Coach said it’s based on last year's season, and how I play my first game.” Brett worried his lip with his teeth.

“You’ve got nothing to worry about. Last week, some guy trying out for goalie was telling me about your last season. Coach gave you MVP for almost every game! There’s no way you won’t get it.”

“Unless I blow it. First game of the season is against a school I’ve never played before.”

Liam pushed Brett’s shoulder. “You can do this. If you’re really freaked, you and I could have additional practice on weekends?”

Brett’s eyes widened. “Would you?”

“Of course.” Liam scoffed. “What are friends for?” Brett beamed at him. He hooked his right arm over his shoulder and used his left hand to ruffle Liam’s hair.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Come hang out with me on  tumblr  or just yell at me if I take this long again!


	4. Chapter 4

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey guys, I'm so incredibly sorry for the long wait. Please don't hate me.  
> I started this thinking I would be able to update every week, but then work and uni started up again and I got kind of overwhelmed. The story hasn't been abandoned, I promise! I'm hoping to get a new chapter out at least once a month. Thank you for waiting and for sticking by me. You guys are wicked :)
> 
> This was edited by punkyuria on tumblr, and my friend Milo

Despite the tense morning and rough practice, Liam felt great. Brett gave him a ride home in a beat-up old Honda, though he had halfheartedly tried to protest. The older boy lived close to the school, while Liam’s house was on the other side of town.

Brett insisted it would be no trouble, and Liam quickly caved. Practice took a lot more out of him than he realized, and he didn’t love the idea of adding another three-mile walk to that. The conversation during the ride revolved around the extra weekend practice, setting up a schedule that would work for both of them. By the time Brett pulled up to the front door, they had already settled on meeting early this Saturday and Sunday .

In addition, Brett had given him his number. Liam had technically already had it, because coaches gave players rosters with everyone’s contact information in case of emergency. But now he had express permission to use it, for whatever he wanted. Because they were _friends._

The trip had put him in such a good mood, Liam had already forgotten the uneasy conversation he had with his mother that morning and blew right past her in the dining room to the kitchen. He snatched some snacks and almost managed to reach the stairs before his mother’s voice called him back.

“Liam, where have you been?” she called, sounding frazzled. Liam retraced his steps to find her at the dining table. The surface was covered with binders, papers and fliers.

“I had lacrosse.” Liam reminded her. “You promised I could play if I took my drugs.”

She pursed her lips. “Right. Well how were your classes? I trust everything went well?”

Liam rolled his eyes. “It was fine. You didn’t get any calls from the principal this time, did you?”

Instead of answering she gave him a weak smile. She glanced down at the mess on the table again and changed the subject. “I need your help. The wedding is this weekend and there’s so much left to do.”

Even though Liam had known about this for months, the date took him by surprise. The wedding. With his own mental chaos stirring at the same time, it was easy to forget his mom had gotten engaged at the beginning of last summer. With school and sports and trying to keep his bargain with mom, the wedding had been pushed to the back of his mind. Now it was just a few days away.

“Why do you need my help?” Liam asked. “I thought you already chose all the food and decorations and stuff.”

“That’s not all that goes into a wedding, Liam. It’s true I can’t change much now, but there’s a lot of details that need to be finalized.”

Liam shrugged. “I guess I’ll try. I just don’t know what you want me to do.”

“Why are you being so difficult?” She snapped. “I want your input.” she sighed.

“You never needed it before.” Liam said. “I’m gonna go do my homework.”

He left his mom standing alone, and this time she didn’t try calling him back. As soon as Liam closed the door he pulled out his phone to call Mason.

_1 New Message_

**Brett:** Hey man. Your lacrosse bag is still in my car.

With a start, Liam realized that he had completely forgotten to take his equipment from the trunk of Brett’s car after getting down. He could blame it on the fact he had gotten used to not carrying it around if not for the fact his forgetfulness had made him leave it in Coach’s office in the first place.

 **Liam:** Sorry bro

 **Brett:** No worries. It’s alright to leave it here when I give you rides home.

Liam sat on his bed and dumped the contents of his backpack around him. He opened a textbook in an attempt to do his homework, but the beeping of his phone was a constant distraction.

 **Liam:** You’re going to give me rides now?

 **Brett:** Sure. Take it as thanks for the extra help you promised.

Even putting the tone on silent was no use. Knowing he had a reply from Brett waiting for him was enough to make Liam antsy.

 **Liam:** No big deal, man. Pretty sure I’m getting the better end of the deal here, getting to learn new tricks from Mr. Team Captain.

 **Brett:** Trust me, you might end up regretting it. I did tell you I wasn’t going to go easy on you.

 **Liam:** Bring it on.

“Liam! Dinner!”

Grumbling, Liam went back downstairs for another awkward, not-quite argument with his mother. He plopped into his seat before realizing that someone else was already at the head of the table.

Todd, his mom’s fiance gave him a tired smile. “Hey Liam. How was school?”

“It was alright.” Liam shrugged. “Same as when I left it.”

“Uh-huh, and lacrosse?”

Liam sat up straight. “I talked to Coach, and he said I’m still on the team.” he left out the part where Brett had to vouch for him.

“That’s wonderful! First or second string?” Todd asked.

“Well, tryouts aren’t quite over yet. I’ll know pretty soon. But the team captain said I’m practically a shoe-in.” Liam bragged.

Todd nodded, impressed. “Even so, I expect you to train hard. Prove you earn that spot Liam, with or without promises from your friends.”

Liam’s mom came in them, bringing in a pan of lasagna. “How was work, honey?”

A conversation began about Todd’s day at the hospital. He told them about the new hires the hospital recently made, then some story about a man bringing his wife flowers after Todd operated on her, which predictably made his mom tear up. Liam wasn’t paying much attention, impatiently looking for a way to change the subject back to lacrosse.

Finally Liam’s mom stood up again to fetch dessert. Todd wiped his mouth with a napkin, raising his eyebrows at Liam. The boy was tapping his fingers, waiting to ask the question he’d been worrying over for a while.

“Are you still going to help me?” Liam blurted. “I know you’re busy at the hospital and everything, but you mentioned training me a little and-”

Laughing, Todd cut him off. “Of course. Still trying to make team captain this year?”

Liam grinned. “Co-captain. My friend Brett - he’s a second year - is practically guaranteed. Coach doesn’t like me much, but if I can be as good as Brett, he has to pick the two best players to lead the team.”

“That’s my boy.” Todd said. “I’ll help you whenever I can, buddy. Maybe we can make you better than this Brett kid.”

“Yeah, maybe. He’s pretty amazing, though. But he did promise to train with me too, so I can learn all his secrets.” Liam joked.

Juggling two pies and a tub of ice cream, his mom came back in and quickly spread it out on the table.

“Did he? When?”

“Um, we agreed for early this weekend. Once the regular season starts, Coach has 6am runs planned for us anyway so we’re gonna get a head start. After this week we’ll have to find a new time so I guess I’ll ask him Sunday.”

“This weekend?” His mom interrupted, biting her lip.

“Will you know for sure by Friday?” Todd asked.

Liam shook his head. “Full roster isn’t posted until Monday. And then Hell month starts.”

“We’ll see if you’re so eager for all these extra practices when that comes around,” Todd grinned, and the two of them laughed.

His mom looked at them uneasily. “What’s wrong, mom?” Liam asked warily.

“I don’t know about this, Liam.” She didn’t look at him.

Liam froze. His hands gripped the table tightly as he tried not to let himself jump to conclusions.

“I know I promised you lacrosse,” mom sighed. “It’s just this weekend is very important - this whole week is so important. There’s so much left to do before the wedding… and even though we’re staying here for the ceremony I just don’t think there’s much time to fit everything in. I was thinking it’d be best for you to take a break? Just for this week?”

“I can’t,” Liam snapped. “Coach is looking for any reason to kick me out, if I even show up late this week I’m pretty sure he’d lock me out of the locker room.”

“He can’t make the team if he doesn’t show up for practice, darling.” Todd said mildly. He always preferred to stay out of their arguments, only making the occasional comment. His role came into play during the after show, usually the one to talk his mom down or comfort Liam in his room.

“Please, Liam. Some things are just more important. You can try out next year-”

The medication had long since been in effect. It had stabilized Liam’s mood throughout the day and all through practice. So he didn’t know if he owed his calmness now to the pills he’d taken more than twelve hours ago, or his extreme effort to not lose control at the dinner table.

Liam stood up. Leaving his dishes, he kept his eyes on the ground until he made it up to his room and locked the door.


	5. Chapter 5

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey guys!  
> Storytime: so this chapter was finished in time for what I wanted to be the May update but I've had such a problem with inconsistent betas/editors that I pushed it back. I wanted to wait to have someone look over it, because I've always been really bad at finding and fixing my own mistakes. But like I said several people have let me down as far as helping me with this and I didn't want to keep making you guys wait.  
> I'm hoping to finish the next chapter soon so you guys get two updates this month. Thanks for sticking with me, friends!

They had a truce.

After an hour of Todd acting as messenger between Liam and his mom, a tentative agreement was reached. Liam could go to practice, and was even allowed keep his promise to help Brett. In return, his mom now owned every second of free time he had until after the wedding. Liam still had no idea what kind of use he would be for the planning at this point.

It was all probably his mom’s idea of trying to keep an eye on him and his “problem.” The idea of her constant worrying and hovering for this next week almost made Liam itch for an extra dose of pills.

At least the approaching wedding meant that Todd would spend more time at home. He had built up some days off from the hospital, and Todd’s boss had insisted he used them to prepare for the wedding. Two new staff members at the hospital would be able to take care of everything until after the honeymoon.

His mom would probably try to suck up all of Todd’s time as well, but Liam was sure he would be able to squeeze in a few hours of practice with his soon-to-be new dad.

Todd was also a big reason his mom didn’t end up yanking him off the team. At least someone in the house understood how important this was to him.

A knock startled Liam while he brushed his teeth. Todd leaned against the door, just watching him. “Your mom... she’s trying. You know that right?”

Liam shrugged and didn’t make eye contact.

“There’s been so much going on. First the move then your - relapse - and now the wedding. She’s wants to keep our lives as normal as she can.”

 _Must be hard, when her kid’s a freak._ Liam mused. “Yeah. I just wish she didn’t try to control everything, all the time.”

Todd clapped gently him on the shoulder. “Just wait for the weekend. She should be less stressed when the wedding is over.”

Honestly Liam doubted it. He kept his mouth shut and nodded along with Todd instead. As the doctor stood up to leave, Liam grabbed his arm. “Thanks. For not letting her pull me off the team.”

With a soft smile Todd ruffled his hair. “Of course. We’re gonna make you team captain, aren’t we?”

Liam grinned. “Hell yeah.”

 

Liam almost forgot to get on the bus the next morning. At the last second he remembered his pact with Mason and sprinted out the door with toast hanging from his mouth.

His best friend waved him over and scooted to the far end of the seat so he could sit down. “Hey man, what’s up?”

“Nothing really. Just usual mom stuff.” Liam admitted. This morning had been even more awkward than usual. With the two of them still not speaking directly to each other, his mom had just decided to stare at him throughout breakfast. It wasn’t until Liam stomped up to his bathroom and came back to make a show of him swallowing his medication that she visibly relaxed.

“Is she still mad about the suspension?”

He shook his head. “Nah, she’s super focused on the wedding. Almost made me quit lacrosse again.”

“But you had a deal.” Mason’s eyebrows furrowed. “You behave, you can play.”

“I guess moms can break promises whenever they want.” Liam grumbled.

“Has she even seen you play? Why would she let you waste talent like that?”

Liam bumped his shoulder. “It doesn’t matter, it didn’t happen. And hey, I didn’t get any lucky talent. I work my ass off for my skills.”

“I know bro. Do you have practice today? Where’s your stuff?”

“Nah, it’s in Brett’s car - I forgot it there yesterday.”

Mason stared at him in surprise. “Brett Talbot? Super hot forward with curly brown hair?”

“Now I know why you come to my games.” Liam rolled his eyes. “Yes, that’s Brett.”

His friend shoved him almost off of the bus seat. “Shut up. I thought I was your only friend. How much are you paying him?”

The bus rolled to a stop and parked and everyone slowly trudged into the school. 

“Listen dude, he asked for my help. With him and dad coaching me I can get off Coach’s bad side.”

“And make captain.” Mason nodded. “Always thinking big, bro. Good luck at practice.”

They split ways. Liam promised to text him later if he had a free minute - probably to complain about how his mom didn’t leave him alone for any.

Paying attention in class was harder than usual. Since his deal with his mom had changed, Liam was tempted just to space out and blow off homework. At the same time he’d actually seen the progress he’d made by focusing, and he kind of liked the feeling of understanding more or less what teachers were saying. In addition time passed by so much faster until his favorite time of the day. Practice.

Liam’s lacrosse bag was waiting for him in his locker already when he arrived. Brett was standing by the locker next to his, instead of the redhead upperclassman who was usually his neighbor.

“I switched with Porter. Figured since we’d be going home together this would be easier.” Brett informed him.

“Right.” Liam nodded. He pulled his shirt over his head and turned to face his locker.

Out of the corner of his eye he could see Brett taking his shirt off as well. Mason’s words from earlier came back to him. _The super hot forward with curly hair and pretty eyes…_

Nope. Liam was not going there. Absolutely no way. Boys had always been Mason’s thing, not Liam’s.

Even if the boys friendly, talented athletes who were standing a foot away from him with their shirts off.

“C’mon man, let’s get down to the field.” Brett urged.

Liam swallowed with difficulty, hoping the other boy didn’t notice the way his cheeks were heating up. “Right. Let’s go.”

Unlike yesterday, Coach wasn’t interested in running them into the ground today. There was less of a focus on cardio and more on simple drills Liam could do with his eyes closed.

Whenever Coach called for pairs Liam barely had to wait five seconds before Brett was at his side. The soon-to-be-captain decided to push him further whenever he could. Brett called out different passes and more complicated maneuvers than the exercises really called for, keeping Liam on his toes.

Practice was always great for Liam, but the whole game of keeping up with Brett put it on another level. He knew he was insanely competitive - one of the only aggressive traits that weren’t tampered by his medication - and it seemed like Brett was in the same boat.

As they tossed their gear in the back of Brett’s car after they changed, Liam told him so.

“You’ve got nice game, captain.”

Brett laughed. “Are you surprised? You’ve seen me play.”

“It’s different seeing it close up.” Liam shrugged. “Thanks for being my partner today. I feel like I’ve learned a lot.”

“It’s what I’m here for. I might make you the second best player on the team yet.” the upperclassman teased.

Liam opened his mouth to argue, but a vibration in his pocket cut him off. He pulled it out to see a call from Mason right as Brett pulled up to the house. He ignored it until he could get up to his room and call him back.

“Alright dude. Same time tomorrow.” Brett smiled at him again.

“Thanks again for this man.” Liam nodded. He got out the car and crossed in front of it, tapping the bumper. Brett revved the engine before peeling out of his driveway.

With a deep breath Liam went inside, already dreading the oncoming night of “wedding planning.”

Brett came through for him again however. The older boy texted him intermittently all night, giving him a distraction every few minutes. Even with his mom’s hectic running around and constant chattering, Liam’s mind stayed focused on Brett.


	6. Chapter 6

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey guys! So I said I would try to post two chapters in June and I actually made it! It's super late and there's like four minutes left in my time and other places in the world are already in July but I did it! Hope you guys like it xx

He couldn't really _stop_ thinking about Brett now. Not really.

Considering how much time they spent in contact with each other - either in person or through texting - the upperclassman never really left his mind. And Liam really couldn’t say he minded. It continued to provide a welcome distraction from his mom’s craziness.

“Hey! Are you listening?”

Liam snapped a picture of his exaggerated eyeroll and texted it to Brett. “Yeah?”

“I’m sure Mason can wait.” his mom said testily. “If you’re going to be helping set up the reception venue, you’ve gotta make sure you know how to fold the napkins correctly.”

He had to bite his lip from questioning when he volunteered to do such a thing. His mom had gotten in the habit of signing him up for things he never even knew about. To do most of them she actually let Liam drive her car, but only to chauffer her around to various appointments. At this rate he wasn’t even sure he wanted his full license, if advancing past his learner’s permit would only mean being sent on ridiculous errands on his own.

“It’s not Mason,” Liam said instead. His phone vibrated with a new message, revealing a picture of Brett’s face. Taking in his crossed eyes and bared teeth, Liam snorted.

When his mom didn’t reply he glanced up from his phone. His mom gave him a strange look before she stood up. As she passed behind him, her car keys fell onto his phone screen. “Come on. I have to pick up my dress before the rehearsal dinner Friday.”

 

“I’m telling you man. The only thing keeping me sane is knowing she’ll be gone for a week on her honeymoon.” Liam sighed, slamming his locker shut. He and Mason walked down the hall toward the cafeteria.

“Hopefully you’ll get some peace for once.” Mason commented mildly.

“Yeah, though I thought we could hang out. You can come over pretty much whenever.”

Mason raised his eyebrows. “Really? You sure?”

“What?”

With a shrug Mason rolled his eyes. “Dunno man. It’s not like I’ve seen much of you lately. Even if I text or call you, it’s like you blow me off.”

Liam stumbled over his own feet. He grabbed Mason’s arm to stop him from walking on and looked at him guiltily. “Sorry dude. Mom and Coach are keeping me busy, you know-”

“Yeah.” Mason sighed. “At least it’ll go back to normal soon, yeah?”

He grunted in agreement, afraid to lie to his best friend further. He couldn’t promise he’d have an abundance of free time since he planned on throwing himself into practicing lacrosse with Brett and his dad as much as possible. And speaking of Brett, some of Liam’s guilt stemmed from how he managed to stay in constant communication with him, but not his best friend.

“Only three more days.” Liam sighed.

“What do you have left to do?” Mason asked as they made their way through the lunch line.

Liam thought for a moment. “Today it’s more stupid last-minute errands my mom makes up to drag me around on. Tomorrow it’s the rehearsal dinner, then Saturday is the wedding.”

“Right.” Mason nodded. “I’m guessing no time to chill until then?”

He shook his head. “Mom and Todd leave right after and I’ll be free.”

“Just three more days.”

“Three more days.”

 

Liam really dreaded the end of practice. He almost considered acting out so Coach would keep him after doing laps, but he wasn’t sure enough yet that a stunt like that wouldn’t get him kicked off the team.

So when the final whistle blew and everyone trudged back to the locker room for the showers, Liam dragged his feet and fell behind. He lost track of Brett who’d been leading the pack off the field. If he didn’t catch up to him, maybe he’d lose his ride. He could walk home and have a few more minutes to himself.

However as soon as he made it to his locker, Brett was standing right there just as he’d been the whole week. His hair was wet from a shower and he’d already changed his clothes.

“What’s the hold up, dude? Get a little too tired today?” Brett teased.

Liam shook his head. “Sorry. Was just thinking. But hey if you want to head out -”

“Nah I’m just messing. I’ve got nowhere to be.”

“I wish I could say the same thing.” Liam groaned.

“Still busy with your mom stuff?”

He flushed and rubbed the back of his neck. “Yeah, sorry. I guess I should stop complaining, it must be pretty annoying.”

Brett clapped him on the back. “Dude come on. If you need to complain it’s what I’m here for. I’m also here to help get your mind off it.” He wiggled his eyebrows.

“Really? What do you have in mind?”

With a smirk Brett gave him a light shove. “Hurry up and take a shower so you can find out.”

Deciding to ignore how suggestive that sounded - or how his imagination might have distorted it - Liam did as he was told. And if he had a five second freak out in the shower, well he ignored that too.

“So where to, captain?” Liam questioned once he and Brett settled in his car.

Brett laughed. “You’ve gotta stop calling me that. It’s not official and the season hasn’t even started yet.”

“It’ll be true soon enough. Might as well get used to it now.” Liam grinned.

Shaking his head Brett didn’t protest further. “Buckle up.”

Despite Liam’s pleading, he couldn’t get an answer from the other boy. Fortunately five minutes later, Brett pulled into the parking lot and turned his car off.

“Cold Stone?” Liam raised and eyebrow. “Seriously?”

Brett grinned. “There’s no better cool down.”

“I take back everything I’ve said. You’re a terrible influence. Do you know how many laps Coach would make us run if he knew we were here?” he grimaced.

For a second Brett looked worried. His eyes darted over Liam’s face before noticing the tiny smirk he was fighting to suppress. With a snort he opened his car door and headed to the shop. “Come on, loser. Before I change my mind about paying for yours.”

Liam scrambled after him. Once the ice cream was picked and paid for (Liam would have bought his own if Brett hadn’t snatched his wallet and dangled it over his head) the two of them sat on the hood of Brett’s car to eat.

“Feel any better?” Brett asked around a spoonful of mint chocolate chip.

Looking down at his own double chocolate brownie, Liam sighed. “Yes and no.”

“You want to go home?”

He shook his head. “But I know I should. Mom’s probably going nuts. Let me call her.”

The phone barely rang once before the line was picked up. “Hello? Liam?”

“Hey ma -”

“Is practice over yet? I need you to run some errands.”

Liam barely held back a sigh. He rolled his eyes at Brett, who smiled sympathetically in return. The next second he had an idea.

“Listen practice just finished up.” he lied. “Brett’s giving me a ride back, but he’s got some stuff to pick up at the mall and I thought it’d be easier if I went with him and got you your stuff?”

“Oh. Wait but I- I need to be able to see some of these things in person to see if I like them.”

“I’ll send you pictures. Just text me what you need, yeah?”

His mom sighed. “Alright. I guess you could do that while I take care of other details.”

Liam breathed a sigh of relief. “Awesome. See you at home. Love you bye.”

“I guess we’re going to the mall?” Brett asked. He was walking back from the trash can three feet away and with a jolt Liam realized his cup was gone.

“Thanks dude. Um yeah I guess so? Sorry it’s the first thing that came to my head but you can take me home if you want, you don’t have to-”

Brett smiled and ruffled his hair. _“Relax._ I was going to ask if there was anywhere else you wanted to go. Don't stress out.”

Instead of answering Liam climbed back in the car and buckled up. He sank down in his seat, a little embarrassed. Why does this always happen with Brett? _Why does me make me so nervous?_

The ride to the mall was laden with an awkward silence - at least on Liam’s side. Brett had the radio on and would intermittently tap out a drum beat or mouth along with familiar songs. Once they were inside he let Liam drag him from store to store picking up items on his mom’s list.

Brett’s easy grin and lasting patience eventually calmed him down. By the time the list was halfway done and they decided to break for food, he and Liam were joking and teasing each other again. Liam discovered the easiest way to put a smile on Brett’s face was to call him ‘captain’ and wasn’t afraid to abuse that new knowledge.

“Go go on, _captain._ Find us a table and I’ll get us pizza.” Liam darted away before Brett could protest, and glanced back to see him searching his pockets. He walked backward toward the pizza line, waving Brett’s wallet and grinning widely.

“Ow!”

“Shit!” Liam whirled around. The person in front of him stumbled a step before regaining his balance. “Sorry dude.”

“It’s alright.” They turned around. “Liam?”

 _Fuck._ “Hey Mason.” he said with fake cheer. “What’s up bro?”

His friend shrugged. “Just hanging out. You doing more errands?” He glanced around, looking for his mom.

Liam swallowed. “Not exactly.” He could tell the exact moment Mason’s eyes landed on Brett.

His jaw clenched, though he looked confused for a few more moments as he put everything together. “Oh. Did I interrupt your date?”

“What?” Liam squawked. “No! Brett and I were just hanging out.”

“I thought you were too busy with stuff for the wedding.”

“We are-”

“Too busy to hang out, huh?” Mason shook his head. “Right.”

“Mason-” he tried weakly.

“Unbelievable.” With a snort he stepped out of line and left without another word.

 _Fuck._ Liam wanted to beat his head on a wall. _Fuck._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for reading! Comments and kudos are always greatly appreciated


	7. Chapter 7

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey guys! Sorry I missed the July update. I would say I'm going to post twice in August, but I really need to stop making promises.  
> Hope you guys like it!!

Everything sucked.

His afternoon with Brett was ruined after he went back to his friend and couldn’t even pretend he was okay.

“All my hard work cheering you up went to waste?” Brett teased, though his eyebrows were furrowed in concern. Liam shrugged and Brett sighed. “Let’s get you home.”

As he pulled up to Liam’s house, he sat in the car for a moment longer. “I’m sorry.” He mumbled, staring at the car radio.

“No, hey.” Brett unbuckled his seatbelt so he could lean closer. He awkwardly slid an arm around Liam’s shoulders. “Dude come on. I know you’ve been having a rough time right now and everything sucks. But you don’t have to apologize for it. I’m here if you ever need to talk about it. I’ll always listen.”

A brief smile flitted over Liam’s face. “Thanks. You don’t know what that means to me.”

The answering smile was blinding. Liam’s own grin widened but before either of them could say anything else there was a tap on the windshield.

His mom stood in front of the car, waving at them. The two of them climbed out to talk to her.

“Hi! You must be Brett! I’m Liam’s mom.” She shook his hand. “Thanks for bringing him home.”

“Hello ma’am, it was no trouble. Really.” Brett nodded.

“Bye Brett, I’ll see you tomorrow.” Liam said, trying to herd his mom back in the house.

“Oh! Before I forget. Brett, something came up and I’m really gonna need Liam’s help Saturday morning. I know you had plans but you don’t mind if he cancels, do you?” She clasped her hands in front of her and looked at him pleadingly.

Liam’s mouth fell open. Was she serious? Was she really stooping this low?

Glancing between the two of them, Brett looked torn. “Uh - I guess not?” He finally shrugged, not wanting to seem rude.

“Oh good!” Liam’s mom clapped her hands together. “I knew you’d understand. You guys can continue your practice or whatever next week.”

Liam turned away in disgust. He caught Brett’s eye and saw him mouth _I’m sorry_ before he stormed into the house. He dropped off the bag full of everything he’d picked up at the mall on the couch and locked himself in his room.

 

Everything sucked.

Liam begged to not have to go to school, to no avail. Apparently his mom only conveniently dragged him out of things that were important to him.

Teachers would call on him for questions he hadn’t paid attention to or about homework he hadn’t done. His blank stares received the same reaction, the confused head tilt and a shake of their heads. The ‘I’m disappointed in you’ look. Liam was used to it.

Had it not been Friday, Liam might’ve wracked up a few hours of detention. As it was none of his teachers were willing to put off the start of their own weekend to babysit him after school so they let him off with a frown.

Between classes, he looked for Mason. His best friend ignored the countless texts and calls last night and continued to be doing an excellent job in avoiding him. After the final bell, Liam took a chance and scouted the parking lot while the buses were loading. He never saw Mason and he was twenty minutes late to lacrosse practice.

Despite trying to sneak in with the crowd on the field, Coach immediately caught him. He dragged Liam to stand in front of everyone and demanded to know what was more important than his team.

It took everything Liam had not to lose it right there. He stood there in front of his team practically shaking with rage when Brett caught his eye. The older boy shook his head slowly without breaking eye contact. Liam curled and uncurled his hands into fists and gnawed on his lip while Brett tracked his movements through narrowed eyes. Liam finally let out a sigh. “Nothing, sir.”

Coach grunted and shoved him into the crowd. Brett gave him a sharp nod before they turned their attention back to the instructions. Different stations were set up all around the field. They were to partner up and go to a station, repeat the drill for three minutes, then move to the station on their left around the circle.

Liam didn’t flinch when a hand landed on his shoulder. A quick glance told him Brett had slowly pushed through the other players to stand behind him, ready to pull him aside once Coach finished speaking. “Deep breaths.” The older boy hissed in his ear.

“Shove it.” Liam whispered harshly.

“Do it.” Brett growled. “ _Liam._ ”

Something in his tone made Liam shiver. He closed his eyes and did as he was told, inhaling deeply and breathing out slowly.

Brett squeezed his shoulder gently. “You’re alright. Stay calm. Let it all out on me, okay? Just a few more seconds.”

“Talbot, Shelly. Station One.” Coach barked. “Dunbar, Hiner. Station Two.”

Neither of them moved. “What?” Brett asked.

“Partner up, let’s go! We don’t have all day.”

“You’ve got to be kidding me.” Liam grumbled. Brett shrugged helplessly as they split up and jogged to their respective stations.

It went even more downhill from there. The Hiner kid was _awful._ He was slow, clumsy, and Liam had seen six-year-olds with cleaner stickwork. He had no idea how this kid made it past first cuts.

Of course Coach blamed it all on him. It was like he had a sense for every time Hiner made a mistake, and shouted at Liam as if it was all his fault.

For the first time, Liam couldn’t wait for the end of practice. Instead of being his release from the day practice was only winding him up more. Coach was ruining everything.

Brett was at his side the moment the final whistle blew. He grabbed Liam and skipped the locker rooms, dragging him roughly to the parking lot, ignoring his struggling. “Get your hands off me!”

“Not until you stop looking like you’re about to kill someone.” Brett smirked. “Can’t let you strangle that poor kid. Or Coach, I still need him to name me captain.”

“Yeah. You get captain. I’m getting kicked off the team and you’re going to lead them to the best season Coach has ever seen.” Liam kicked the tire of the car closest to him.

With a frown Brett tried to reach out to touch him. “Woah, nobody said anything about you getting cut.”

“It’s obvious, isn’t it?” Liam barked. He slammed his fist against the hood of the car. “Coach keeps me around so he could embarrass me before kicking me off Monday.”

It made sense. Why else would Coach make a show of him today, calling him out in front of everyone so he could get laughed at. The more he thought about it, the more it angered him. Curling his hands into fists, he slammed them into the car hood again. And again. And again.

“Liam!” Brett cried.

“What?” He shouted back, infuriated.

“Stop.”

“Fuck off.” Liam spat. Who the hell was Brett to tell him what to do?

A grip on his shoulders spun him around. A moment later he was pressed against the car, his hands pinned to his sides. “I said stop.” Brett said calmly. He ducked his head slightly so their eyes were on the same level.

Liam glared at him, fighting against his hold. He always knew Brett was stronger than him, but not this powerful. Trapped between the car and the older boy he could barely move an inch. “Let. Me. Go.”

“Calm down.” Brett murmured. He narrowed his eyes at him. “Relax, Liam. You’re okay.”

The same tone was in Brett’s voice again. It was low and almost threatening, but just shy of angry. Everything he said seemed like a command, but something about voice seemed persuasive. Something in Liam wanted to do what he said.

“Stop it.” Liam said. He tried to sound angry. “Let me go.”

Brett didn’t reply, just looked at him in concern. He loosened his grip on Liam’s wrists.

“Let me go.” Liam repeated His voice cracked.

“You hurt yourself.” Brett murmured. He took both Liam’s hands in his and brought them up to eye level. His knuckles were red and puffy, already bruising from the swings Liam had taken at the car. Blood trickled between his fingers from where the skin had split.

Without a word Brett tugged him around to the passenger side door. Liam climbed in without a fight, registering that it was Brett’s car he had been punching. He made a note to apologize - later.

Brett drove to the pharmacy first. Liam stayed in the car while he went in, staring listlessly out the window. After only a few minutes Brett came back out with a plastic bag. He drove Liam home, but parked a few feet away from the house.

“C’mere.” Brett murmured. He waited patiently for Liam to turn in his seat and hold out his hands.

As his friend quietly cleaned his knuckles with rubbing alcohol, Liam watched him work. A little hiss of pain slipped from his lips when the alcohol burned an open cut.

“Sorry.” Brett whispered. He pulled out a roll of white tape and started wrapping it around his left hand. Once he finished he bandaged the knuckles on Liam’s other hand.

“Brett.” Liam sighed. “I’m not okay.”

“Does it hurt?” Brett looked worried. He grabbed both of his hands again.

Surprisingly it really didn’t hurt. Brett did a really good job, it felt like the pain was just draining out of him.

“No. Brett, I mean it. I’m not okay.” Liam’s voice wobbled. He kept his eyes on their joined hands.

“There’s nothing wrong with that. Hey, look at me.” Brett said sternly. “It’s _okay_ if you lose control. You can always get it back again.”

“How?”

“I’ll help you.” Brett said firmly.

“You don’t-”

“I’m going to help you. Whenever you need me, Liam. I’m right here.”

Liam slipped away from him and out of the car. The surprise on Brett’s face when he opened the driver’s side door brought a tiny smile to his face, despite everything.

He lost Mason. Who knows how long it would take him to come around, how much pleading Liam would have to do. He lost his mom long ago, and any attempts to fix it were ruined on her side ages ago.

But as his friend stepped out of the car and pulled him into a hug, something warm lit up in Liam’s chest. He had Brett.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm also on [Tumblr](http://http://a-dream-so-alive.tumblr.com//) please come yell at me whenever I'm late in updating!  
> Thanks for reading! xx


	8. Chapter 8

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Um... I can explain.  
>  **Storytime:** I can't believe next month would have been a full year since I updated this fic. As a rule, I refuse to abandon any of my works.  
>  For a long time life and school and health overwhelmed me, and only now does it feel like I'm getting my life back.
> 
>  ***Important story info:** I made mass edits to the story, so I _strongly_ recommend going back for a reread. Especially since everyone's probably forgotten what happened anyway. I really hope you guys like it!!

Losing control was a frightening description of Liam’s life at the moment. From his ‘lashing out’ as a child to the violent fits of rage that led him to be diagnosed, he’d never pictured himself a lost cause. Mostly due to the fact Liam had always had someone, a tether back to reality when he was trapped inside his head.

As he watched his mom float around the bridal suite in the church, swarmed by her bridesmaids, he remembered when she’d been the one to ground him to reality.

 

 _“That_ freak _bit me!”_

_Wiggling in the tight hold, Liam tried squirming away from the adult holding him back from the redhead boy two feet away._

_“Has anyone called the child’s parents?” His captor asked, voice tinged with hysteria._

_“The mother has been notified her child is… acting up. She said she was coming straight from work.”_

_Just then the door of the principal’s office burst open. A petite woman stormed in, her brown hair escaping from a loose ponytail. Liam scanned her disheveled hair and rumpled clothes before making eye contact with eyes so similar to his own. Mom._

_“What’s happened?”_

_“Ma’am, it appears as though your son has_ bitten _another student-”_

_“What brought this on?” She snapped. She crossed the room to the left side of the principal’s desk to Liam. She immediately took his hand, and Liam shuffled closer as soon as his teacher finally let him go. “Sweetie, what happened?”_

_Liam pointed a finger at the other boy. “Was teasing us. Pulling girls’ hair n’ makin’em cry. Pushed me off the swings and tried to hit me.”_

_“Josh was just playing around.” The other boy’s mother sniffed. “Boys will be boys. Unlike your child, who’s some sort of wild animal-”_

_“Liam at six years old already understands not to bully anymore - much less children two years younger - which is more than I could say for your son. And from what I can tell, my son has also learned a lesson in self-defense.”_

_“He might have been defending himself, but we can’t ignore that Liam bit and injured another student-” the principal began._

_“But you can ignore hair-pullling?” Mom raised an eyebrow. “Joshua pushing Liam off the swings?”_

_Still holding Liam’s hand, she approached Josh and his mother. The other boy shrank back as Liam approached, but he wasn’t bothered. Liam kept his eyes on Mom’s face and squeezed her fingers. In return she brushed her thumb in circles on the back of his hand._

_“Is the skin broken? Do you need stitches? Are you bleeding?” Mom asked Josh. Mutely the boy shook his head and she smiled sweetly at him. “Then I believe we don’t have a problem.”_

_Despite her calm reaction and the fierce defense in the office, Liam still expected punishment or a lecture at least for his actions. Mom drove them home in silence, not saying a word until she took his hand and led him to his room._

_“Are you hurt?”_

_He shook his head, gnawing on his lip. “Are you mad at me?”_

_“Of course not.” Mom shook her head. “Darling, look at me. You’re not in the wrong here, you know that? A bully was hurting you, hurting your friends, and you wanted him to stop.”_

_“But I hurt him too.” Liam mumbled._

_“In the future, try not to stoop to a bully’s level. But I’m proud you defended yourself.”_

_Liam nodded, though he wasn’t entirely assured. Mom pulled him into a tight hug._

_“There, there sweetheart. No harm done.”_

 

Mom never asked him questions, other than making sure he wasn’t injured. A phone call from teachers or students would tell her all the details she needed, followed by a brief talk to the principal behind closed doors. They didn’t even mention it on the way home. Now, Liam understood that to his mom, everything she’d hear was just a story that she could imagine had happened to someone else, or pretend the story ended once they got home and closed the doors between them and the outside world.

That is, until his mom was actually present during one of his ‘episodes’. Liam stood at the altar off to the side, seeing his mom walk slowly to him – to Todd next to him – on the best day of her life. All he could remember was the horror on her face from the worst day of his own.

 

_A shrill whistle made everyone freeze._

_Honestly, it should have made Liam freeze too. The refs paused the game so often already – in just the first half –he knew exactly what he should do._

_However most of those pauses had been to pass idiotic rulings or to card warnings for Liam himself, so he elected to ignore this one._

_Player 14 paused, though. Untangling himself from Liam he dusted himself off and stood. Not offering Liam a hand up, he merely turned towards the ref to see if the_ completely foul _tackle he’d just done would be carded. As close as he was to the sideline Liam could hear the crowd on the bleachers booing. But the ref was already tossing the ball to a red jersey player for a throw-in._

_Rage boiled deep in his chest, rising like lava and exploding through his veins. Stupid, biased refs, stupid player 14 -_

_Without conscious effort, Liam sprang to his feet. Fueled by fury he launched himself at the boy in front of him, seeing red – literally. A collective gasp rose from the fans. More whistles blew as someone yanked him away from the other player. A ref kept a firm hold while waving something in his face._

_A red card._

_He was out of the game._

_For a moment Liam managed to jerk free, and he was on player 14 again. Stupid refs, stupid player –_

_They were right in front of the bleachers so Liam saw the movement of the front row. A woman moved from her spot against the railing, holding a hand to her mouth. Liam rolled off the other player’s body and stood. He took one step and watched his mom take three steps back, horror evident on her face from his spot in the field._

 

From Liam’s spot at the bridal party’s table he had a view of his mom take her first steps out on the dance floor looking happier than he’d ever seen. Todd met her halfway, and Liam felt excitement tinged with dread.

As much as he liked Todd, Liam felt something keeping him from finding security with the doctor after he’d lost it with his mom. How long until Liam had another ‘accident’ that changed the way Todd looked at him like Mom had?

The only other person who Liam felt had come close to grounding him again was Mason. As the reception dragged on, Liam sent halfhearted messages that went unanswered. His best friend hadn’t even waited to see Liam in full ‘wild animal’ mode before giving up on him.

As much as Liam missed Mason and wanted him back, he wasn’t sure if he should be happy it happened before he gave Mason real reason to hate him.

His mom and new dad were running through a tunnel of their friends holding sparklers as his phone buzzed with a message. Liam held open the door of the getaway limo, and Todd gave him a hug before climbing inside. Mom squeezed him tightly and kissed his cheek before joining him.

Liam glanced at his text as he shut the door and waved his parents away to a sunny beach for their honeymoon.

 **Brett:** Six mile hike. You and me. 6am.

 **Liam:** Unless you misspelled ‘sub’ and are planning on making the world’s biggest sandwich, I’m out.

 **Brett:** Pick you up at 5!

For one awful moment Liam imagined the tentative threads already anchoring him to Brett – and the calmness and focus he offered – snapping. He wondered what the breaking point with Brett would be. If it would take a full-scale meltdown or a careless mistake for him to give up on Liam.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Writing this story, I never wanted to have the actual wedding scene. I thought weaving it through some flashbacks and backstory would work better, and I hope it wasn't hard to follow.  
> Comments and kudos are extremely appreciated. Thanks everyone so much!


	9. Chapter 9

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry to update a little late, I got caught up trying to plan out and organize all the stories I have on here.  
> This chapter was brought to you by the song No Air on repeat, because Anthony Ramos' and Jasmine Cephas Jones' cover is beautiful as well as Starbucks doubleshot. Because caffeine 
> 
> Ps: obviously there are more than 5 players on a lacrosse team. Different sources say different things so let's just pretend Liam was reading the bottom of the list

“Get up, Liam.”

He rolled over. Trees towered over him and through their leaves dappled sunlight warmed his face. “Am I dead?”

Splashes of water on his face made him crack his eyes open. Brett grinned down at him, holding out a plastic bottle. “What’s wrong? Was I too hard on you? We just got to the top, there’s still another three miles down.”

“You didn’t tell me going up meant practically _vertical_.” Liam huffed, taking long swigs of water.

Brett grinned brightly. “Don’t worry, if you need help getting back, you can curl up in a ball and I'll roll you down.”

Liam grumbled, but the other boy didn’t respond. He sat up to see his friend venturing further into the clearing that marked the end of the trail. He pulled himself up and scrambled quickly after him.

Trees surrounded a small meadow of short grass. In front of him was a large wood-and brick sign proudly marking the end of Quail Trail. Right in the center of the clearing a large metal-and-stone tower rose from the ground. Metal steps snaked around the outside body of it, leading up to a platform. A small lookout cabin made entirely of glass and metal was in the middle.

Brett – somehow still full of energy – bounded up the steps of the lookout post. He tried the glass door but the room was locked. By the time Liam joined him, Brett was leaning against the railing surrounding the platform. The sun had risen a while ago, while they had been trekking up through the rocks and trees. Now that they had reached the top of the mountain, the pink-tinged sky was fully visible and breathtaking.

“The sun, the moon, the truth.”

Glancing sideways, Liam raised an eyebrow. “What?”

“Three things cannot long be kept hidden.”

“Okay… what does that mean?” Liam asked, completely bewildered.

With a laugh, Brett nudged his shoulder. “It’s something my – _family_ says. When I was younger, I had a lot of issues. I was really sick for a long time – it made me feel helpless. At some point the helplessness turned to anger. I’d have these fits of rage so intense, it might be similar to how you feel sometimes.”

Liam nodded mutely. This was pretty difficult to imagine; an ill Brett, a Brett so similar to him. “How did you recover?”

“It took a lot of work. My dad – my whole family helped – but my dad was the one to coach me through. My… aunt visited a lot too, and whenever I was having a rough time that’s what she would say. We’d sit in my room and she would say it and have me repeat it for hours, like a mantra. It helped me focus on something outside of what was happening to me. The sun, the moon, and the truth.”

“The sun, the moon, the truth.” Liam repeated quietly.

Brett had been looking up at the sky this whole time, peacefully scanning the horizon. Now he turned to Liam and gave him a soft smile. “Maybe you might draw strength from it, too.”

“Maybe.” Liam mumbled.

 

Monday morning, Liam’s search for Mason continued.

His friend hadn’t been on the bus, wasn’t at lunch, and Liam couldn’t find him in the hallways anywhere. Either Mason was incredibly fast, or somehow convinced his parents to aid his avoidance of Liam and let him stay home.

Liam was so distracted by guilt he almost forgot what today was. It wasn’t until he turned down the hallway to the locker rooms and saw the huge mass of players from different teams gathered around their respective team lists that he remembered.

Taking a deep breath, he shuffled through the crowd until he joined the other lacrosse hopefuls. Just as he joined them, Adam Robertson stomped off with a huff. A minute later Jamie Hiner broke away as well, looking more teary-eyed than his friend.

More guys dispersed, either going into the locker room or headed for home. The space cleared for Liam to step in front of the bulletin board and scan the list. Brett stood to the side, respectfully nodding to those who didn’t make it.

Brett winced when he saw Liam. “I’m so sorry, Liam.”

His stomach swooped painfully. “No-” Heart racing, he frantically scanned the names.

 

Kit Gains

Brett Talbot

Leslie Ramos

Javi Miranda

Liam Dunbar

 

 **First scrimmage:**   _Thursday_ vs _Oak Grove’s Mighty Oaks_

 **Acting Co-Captains:** _Miranda, Ramos_

 

Liam whirled around. “You jerk!” He whacked Brett on the shoulder repeatedly. “Why would you do that!”

Brett laughed and ducked away from him. “You looked bummed out, I thought you might be even more excited when you saw you're in. I figured there was only a 50% of that going wrong.”

Rolling his eyes Liam headed for the locker room. Brett followed him and Liam quickly raced in and pulled the door shut after himself. He locked Brett out even as the other player narrowed his eyes at him.

“That’s for the other 50%.” Liam grinned.

Liam was waiting fully changed by the time Brett made it in, having taken the outside entrance that involved going around the building. He grinned brightly.

“Very mature.” Brett whacked him in the face with his jersey.

Liam stuck his tongue out at him.

 

Waking up to an empty house wasn’t as strange as it should have been. With all the pressure Liam had felt all of last week, the lack of expectations was freeing. He’d always been pretty independent, especially in the more recent years. Unlike other parents, his mother’s tight grip never loosened, so Liam had to find creative ways to wiggle free. He appreciated any moments of freedom he had.

Liam was free to invite Brett over whenever he wanted, which he did. However he found himself spending most of his time at Brett’s – heading home with him after practice for protein shakes, video games, and some extra hours of training. The Talbots were also out of town, a fact Brett glossed over but never really explained.

It worked in Liam’s favor either way, allowing him to spend a couple nights there without parents asking any questions. Getting up and _going to_ the six am runs Coach implemented was made easier when someone else dragged him there.

He did meet one member of Brett’s family; his sister Lori often joined them in the backyard and played goalie as the boys ran drills and also liked to kick their asses at video games.

Before he knew it, it was Thursday morning. The team’s first scrimmage was this afternoon and Liam had been so busy he forgot to be nervous.

He glanced over at Brett running beside him. The two of them were a couple strides ahead of the others, barely breaking a sweat. Brett raised an eyebrow and without a word the two of them broke into sprints.

Liam threw himself into it, blood roaring in his ears as he put all he could into getting ahead of Brett. They kept pretty even as they pounded down the last curve of the track field where they could see Coach waiting at the finish. In the corner of his eye he saw Brett inch ahead.

Just as Liam started edging into a lead, Coach blew the whistle. He and Brett blew past him, almost tripping over themselves as they tried to halt suddenly.

“Nice showing off, Dunbar.” Coach grunted.

“I – I wasn’t –” Liam panted, shocked. It was just some fun!

“You do know these runs are about team-building? You were so focused being selfish you left the pack behind.” He gestured toward the rest of the team, crossing the final curve together as a group.

At his words Brett stiffened. Liam waited for him to admit to have been the one to challenge Liam, but he said nothing.

“I was just trying to push myself.” Liam said. “Push my team.”

“That’s the captain’s job! You’re not captain.” Coach barked.

Liam shot another glance at Brett, incredulous. The other boy only shook his head minutely but didn’t look at him. His eyes were locked on Coach, listening intently with his hands behind his back.

“50 pushups Dunbar. When you’re done, rejoin your team in _group_ exercises.”

“That’s not fair!”

“Do you want to play this afternoon?” Coach growled. “75 pushups.”

“Do as he says, Liam.” Brett said warningly.

Glaring at Coach in disgust, Liam dropped to the ground. He narrowed his eyes at Brett as he and Coach led the rest of the team off the track down the hill to the lacrosse field. _What the hell._

 

That afternoon Brett said nothing about what Coach had done that morning, or what he’d said himself. He joked with Liam like he always did. Liam figured he was overreacting. Brett always was on his side.

The moment the scrimmage started, his strange behavior returned. When Coach had Liam play defense despite that he was stronger as midfield or forward, Brett simply shrugged. Coach bellowed orders to him from the sidelines that Brett echoed, as if he hadn’t heard.

The game passed in such a blur of confusion Liam left the field not even sure who won. He changed out of uniform slowly, watching as Coach pulled Brett aside. He kept one hand on Brett’s shoulder as he talked.

Liam pulled out his phone while he waited. He shot off a text to Mason, hoping he’d given his friend enough space yet.

 **Liam** : Hey?

 **Mason** : Hey.

 **Liam** : What’s up? How come you haven’t been in school?

 **Mason** : Oh. Yeah. I don’t go to Devenford anymore. I transferred.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ~~Did anyone catch any of my references oops~~  
>  Thanks for reading!


	10. Chapter 10

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm back! Sorry for the longer delay, especially since this chapter is a little bit shorter (it's the shortest I've ever posted, yikes) It's pretty important though, and I hope you guys like it!  
> This chapter was brought to you by: the In the Heights Soundtrack and more Starbucks doubleshot being injected directly into my bloodstream

**Liam** : Can I come over?

 **Mason** : Yeah, ok.

 **Liam** : Good, cuz I’m outside.

 

The front door opened, revealing Mason. He raised his eyebrow.

“Hi?” Liam said innocently.

A couple of beats of silence made Liam sweat, afraid his friend might slam the door in his face. Mason gave him a wry smile. “Why am I not surprised?”

“Because you’ve secretly missed my sharp wit and clever antics?”

“Or I’ve been patiently waiting for you to grace me with your presence again?” he shot back.

Liam winced. “Mason I – I’m _sorry_.”

“Hold up. Come inside before we get to the sappy apologies.” Mason teased, but bumped his shoulder lightly as Liam entered the house. “I’d hate to give Mrs. Olivo even more to gossip about.”

Glancing at the nearest neighbor’s house, Liam swore he saw the window blinds twitch. He followed Mason in through to the kitchen. Mason grabbed them both waters from the fridge and Liam fidgeted with the label.

“Was there something you wanted to say?” Mason prompted.

“Yeah, ah – I’m sorry, man.” Liam said earnestly, though he still avoided eye contact. “You know how I get – lacrosse kinda takes over my life and I forget everything else sometimes.”

Mason snorted, not unkindly. “Nah, really?”

“It’s just so important to me, and it lets me have space from my mom –”

“You throw yourself into it so she’ll be proud.” Mason nodded.

Thrown, Liam faltered. “I mean, I guess? But that’s no excuse to ignore you. I’m a shit friend and honestly I’m surprised it’s taken so long for you to notice but I’m sorry, I can’t help it. But I’ve never lied to you either; that day you saw me with Brett, I really _was_ doing errands. Mom was driving me nuts and he was just there and I kinda forced him to help me out-”

Mason raised both of his hands. “Woah. There was _so_ much wrong with all you just said.”

“Sorry.” Liam rubbed his neck nervously.

“I don’t even know where to start. First, Liam you’re my best friend. You might be kind of a lunatic, but I’ve gotten used to it.”

“You don’t hate me?” Liam asked.

Snorting, Mason hit him upside the head. “No. Something tells me we should have a heart-to-heart about the rest of your inferiority issues but I kinda want to ignore them because I’ve been dying to ask you about your date with Brett.”

Liam felt a hot flush fan across the back of his neck. “ _What_?”

“Hey, I would’ve done the same thing. I had to forgive you because if a cute boy suddenly wanted to hang out with me I’d drop you in a hot minute.”

“We were doing _errands!_ ” Liam protested. “I mean, we did go out for ice cream first but –”

Mason’s eyebrows rose, and his face broke out into a wide grin before he wiggled his eyebrows suggestively.

“Not like that! I think he feels sorry for me or something –”

“I know a pity date when I see one, and judging by the look I saw on your face – _and_ his too – that wasn’t one.”

 “It wasn’t – we didn’t – he _helps_ me. With my mom, with lacrosse. He’s been keeping me sane.” Liam admitted. He wasn’t sure about anything past that.

Mason looked like he wanted to say something more but he didn’t push. “I’m with you, for anything. You know?”

“So you’ve really forgiven me?” Liam grinned. He was relieved, both for the subject drop and to for his friend’s forgiveness.

“Duh. It’s the only reason I even opened the door.”

Liam pushed back from the kitchen island. “Oh really? Are you going to forgive me for kicking your ass at Mario Kart?” He headed toward the basement stairs, where the Hewitts had a TV rigged up to several gaming systems.

He laughed. “Knew it wouldn’t take long for you to barge around like you owned the place again.”

 “Bring some snacks!”

Mason didn’t forgive Liam for kicking his ass at Mario Kart. He won three times before Mason got fed up and tried smothering him with a pillow.

That’s how Mason’s mom caught them when she came downstairs. She raised an eyebrow but had an amused smile on her face. “Just wanted to ask if you boys wanted to go out for dinner.”

Gesturing towards the spread of chips, popcorn and cookies spread around them, Mason shook his head. Liam politely declined.

“Are you spending the night, Liam? Do I need to call your mom?”

Liam hastily assured her it was alright, mumbling about his mom being busy. He didn’t want to disturb her a day before her honeymoon ended. She left, and Mason whacked him with a pillow.

 The boys switched games a few times, playing well into the night.

Mrs. Hewitt made another brief appearance, bearing a sandwich tray and sleeping bags. She casually mentioned how she was happy to see Liam, and how she hoped it meant Mason would stop moping about the house now. Liam preened. Mason groaned.

She asked a few more questions about his mom which Liam answered vaguely. He had noticed the Hewitts’ lack of presence at his mom’s wedding, and had no idea how much – if any – of that had to do with Mason.

When the brightness of the screen started making the graphics blurry and their eyes hurt, Mason turned the TV off. They spread their sleeping bags on the floor and laid in silence next to each other.

Liam’s mind didn’t seem to want to shut up, flooded with what happened today. He and Mason had worked through a few things, but there was still so much he wanted to tell his best friend. His thoughts were swimming with all that he’d been through lately. For a long while, one particular idea remained snagged apart from the rest.

“Mason?”

“Yeah?”

“I’m bisexual. I think.”

Liam felt Mason shift, rolling closer to him. “I know. Shut up and go to sleep.”

Letting out a breath, Liam closed his eyes. A moment later another thought made him sit bolt upright. “Mason? What do you mean you transferred?”

No answer.

“Mason?!”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> All of you are so wonderful, thank you so much for sticking with me!


	11. Chapter 11

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey everyone! I'm so sorry for the late update, this last month was unusually busy for me. Had to go on some trips, helped people move, and got ready for my last semester at university.
> 
> Speaking of which! (this is probably obvious) but my update schedule is going to change. I want to say there will be a new chapter every other week, but if not I promise three updates a month, at least!
> 
> Which brings me to my final thing: I wanted to ask if anyone would be willing to beta for me. It doesn't have to mean editing, I'm just hoping for someone to run basic ideas by, and hopefully have someone keep me on track. (Did you guys notice the tentative chapter count? There's an end in sight!!) Please let me know if you're interested!  
> Anyway enough babbling, happy reading!
> 
> (Oh and PS this chapter probably contains legal inaccuracies)

Fortunately Liam and Mason were about to talk more thoroughly the next morning during breakfast. Liam ignored most invasive questions about his health, and Mason pretended not to notice his blatant avoidance. Mason had more luck squeezing information about Liam’s late-night revelation.

“So. Is it official or –”

Liam swallowed. “I think so? I need to figure it out more, but this feels right – the most accurate?”

“I’ve probably said this a million times, but you can talk to me. About anything.” Mason said casually. Well, as casually as he possibly could while trying to make meaningful eye contact.

“Oh yeah, I’ll be sure to text you during class. While you’re at _Beacon Hills_.” Liam wrinkled his nose. “Dude, there’s like eight lacrosse teams in the area and theirs isn’t even in the top ten.”

“Good thing I’m transferring, not you.” Mason shoved his shoulder.

"But to public school, man?”

Mason laughed. “Mom thinks they might be more inclusive. And less violent.”

"Right." Liam frowned. That had been the extent Liam had been able to drag out of his friend as well, regarding his reasons for transferring. All he knew was that accidents like the one that lead to Liam's suspension occurred more frequently than Mason admitted.

Mrs. Hewitt had seen her son limp home from school one too many times before pulling him out effective immediately. The decision had been hers, and Mason simply hadn't argued.

"Beacon Hill's tryouts start Monday. I could scope them out if you want?" Mason offered.

Liam's mouth dropped in horror. "We've been practicing for _weeks_ and they haven't even had _tryouts_ yet? I don't think we're going to need any extra help beating them. It's probably not the strategies you want to scope out, anyway."

"You're right, I don't care how well they play." Mason shrugged and smirked. "I'll definitely tell you who's team is most attractive, though."

Liam snorted. "Please. Have you seen our team?  I hear their star player's quite attractive."

"Do you mean Brett?" Mason looked as if he were waiting for Liam to say something like that. The smile on his face was the most devious Liam had ever seen.

"I meant me!" he smacked Mason's shoulder and looked away when Mason wiggled his eyebrows. "Anyway, I've gotta go. Home. Mom's waiting - she'll be - home. Soon."

"Right." Mason stood and grabbed both of their cereal plates. "Maybe she's relaxed some now that the wedding's over."

Liam sighed. "Unlikely."

"Hope she doesn't drive you nuts. Text me later."

 

The house was still empty when Liam came in. He quickly went around doing the chores his mom had assigned him a week ago. The back door had barely shut behind him on his return from taking the trash out when he heard a car pull into the driveway. With some last-minute scrambling, Liam managed to place the last dish in the dishwasher before the front door opened.

Mom entered first, wheeling a red suitcase behind her. Todd was just behind her with the other one, and stepped right in close. He stayed in her space as they whispered to each other. Liam hovered uncertainly in place, wondering if he should slip upstairs quietly.

"Liam?" the couple looked away from each other over to him.

"Welcome home!" he smiled. "How was the honeymoon?"

"Oh honey, it was wonderful." his mom replied with a dreamy smile on her face. She practically skipped into the kitchen and swept him up in a hug. "We had the best time, didn't we Todd?"

Todd grinned, and Mom's smile grew even sappier. "Absolutely. But we missed you, son."

Liam's breath caught.

This wasn't the first time Todd had used that endearment, but it had been just that - a nickname. But it was _true_ now. Almost.

"Am I - I mean, will you - do you want - " Liam stuttered.

"Of course." Todd chuckled. "I already started the papers to adopt you."

Without a word Liam pulled them both into a giant hug. He wasn't sure why he'd imagined otherwise, but it was amazing to have that seed of doubt weeded out.

Both of them hugged him back tightly and when Liam looked up he saw tears welling in his mom's eyes. She rubbed his back before letting go.

"How do you guys feel about some Chinese takeout and a movie before bed?"

 

Monday was rough.

Liam had no idea how much he relied on having Mason with him - to talk and hang out with, study, or tell quick jokes between classes. In all honesty he felt kind of isolated, and he wondered if this was how Mason felt when Liam had been MIA, and asked Mason such.

 **From Mason** : I have more friends.

 **From Mason:** And so do you.

Which he did. Liam couldn't have been on as many teams as he had without getting along with the other players. He hung out with a few other guys frequently outside practice, but it was hardly ever as fun as one-on-one time with Mason.

 **From Mason** : Or at least you've got Brett! :D

 **From Liam:** Why are you like this

Liam and Brett hadn’t talked since Thursday’s scrimmage, strangely enough. Brett had skipped Friday’s practice – which while unusual, wasn’t unheard of. Liam remembered the last soccer season where he learned Brett sometimes took personal days where he didn’t even show up at school. Liam often wanted to ask, but had a feeling the reasons were too personal. He assumed it might have something to do with his sister, and left it at that.

He hoped there was no leftover weirdness on his part. If there’s anything he knew about his life, it was that he had a _slight_ tendency to overreact. Brett hadn’t picked Coach’s side over his, they were all on the same side – same team. Brett and Coach knew better. Right?

“Hey, Liam!” He gave Liam a broad smile, his eyes crinkling happily.

Liam froze. Thoughts of his conversation with Mason – and all of his friend’s little ‘hints’ since then – flooded his mind.

_Oh my God. How am I supposed to deal with this?_

It had been a while since Liam had dated, or even had a crush. And he’d never had a realization hit him like a truck in the middle of the boy’s locker room.

“What did I miss Friday?” Brett continued, tugging his T-shirt off and sliding his jersey on. “Did Coach talk about the last scrimmage? Or the next one on Thursday?”

“Ah – um – yeah. He went over everyone’s weak points and made us run laps.”

Brett laughed. “Weak points? So I didn’t need to be there after all.”

“Yeah, Coach could have spent the whole hour on you alone and only touched the tip of the iceberg.” Liam snorted.

“You don’t complain about these ‘weaknesses’ when I’m giving you private lessons for free!”

“Of course not,” Liam shrugged. “But I’m definitely recording them all so I can finally show Coach where all my bad habits come from!”

“Please. Coach was the one who taught me everything I know. He’s been training me since I was little.” Brett stated. They finished putting all their equipment on and headed out of the locker room to the field.

“Really?” Liam asked curiously.

“Yeah. He was a friend of my dad’s, and when I started getting interested in lacrosse they set it up so Coach trained me, so I would take his team to greatness.” Brett puffed out his chest with exaggerated pride.

There was so much that surprised Liam. They had made it to the gravel track leading to the practice field before risking the question. “He _was_ friends with your dad?”

The easy smile melted away, making Brett’s face look carefully neutral. Liam tried another tactic.

He shoved Brett’s shoulder. “No wonder he’s making you captain. He just wants to live out his glory days through you.”

The smile came right back. “That’s no way to talk to your captain.” He wiggled his eyebrows and without warning, took off like a shot toward the field.

“Not yet!” Liam cried, and quickly followed.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> See Liam can have good things! (Before things get really, really bad)  
> If you guys liked this, please leave comments or kudos!  
> Thank you for reading!!


	12. Chapter 12

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter delay was brought to you by: a family emergency. Sorry, guys.

Liam bounded into the kitchen early the next morning, joining his parents - _parents_ \- huddled by the coffee machine. He poured himself a bowl of cereal and hopped up to sit on a counter.

“You’re up early,” Todd noted.

“Brett’s coming to get me for our morning run. He’s making us do six miles again, because he won our bet after practice yesterday.”

“What were the conditions?”

“He made more goals from the other end of the field than I did.” Liam admitted.

“How many did you make?”

“One.”

“And Brett?” Todd prompted.

“...Two.”

Todd laughed. “What a fierce competition! You _almost_ tied.”

“It was close!” Liam protested, though he grinned. “I just need to practice that much harder. Next time I can rub it in that pretty boy’s face.”

“That’s the spirit. Though if this Brett is as talented as you’ve said, I’d like to meet him. Why don’t you invite him for dinner after practice tonight?”

Liam’s eyes widened. “Why?” He blurted.

With a shrug, Todd eyed him curiously. “Just wanted to thank the kid for taking you under his wing.”

He swallowed. _Chill out! Mason comes over all the time, don’t make this weird._ “Um, yeah, of course. I’ll ask him. We might have an intense practice, so I’ll let you guys know if we’ll be late.”

Todd nodded in approval, and Liam glanced at his mom. She had a tight smile on her face, and her eyebrow twitched when they made eye contact. Todd reached out to squeeze her shoulder, and she looked at him instead. They had a wordless conversation and Liam stayed silent.

Thankfully he was saved by a knock at the door. Liam dumped his plate in the sink and bolted to the door. “Good morning!” Brett said cheerfully.

“Morning.” Liam gave him a quick smile and grabbed his arm. “Let’s go.”

Brett offered no resistance, letting Liam drag him away.

“Don’t forget about dinner!” Todd’s voice called just as the door slammed shut behind them.

As Brett began driving in silence, Liam studied him. Their last heart-to-heart came to mind. Did Brett’s mantra truly work? Would it work for him?

When he was younger, Liam had a similar phrase he’d clung to. After every parent-teacher conference or meetings with the principal, his mom would always look him over and say ‘don’t worry sweetheart, no harm done.’ He would repeat it back to her, and that would be it. Empty words, he now knew, but back then they never failed to ease the knot of worry in his chest.

As he sat there, over thinking what just happened and agonizing over something that was probably nothing, Liam tried out the new saying. “Three things cannot be long hidden. The sun, the moon, the truth.”

If Brett heard him, he gave no hint of it. He kept his eyes calmly on the road, while Liam relaxed. He repeated the phrase over and over, really wrapping his mind around each word and squeezing out as much meaning as possible.

“You want to talk about what happened back there?” Brett asked softly when they were parked. He busied himself with turning off the car and reaching in the back for his backpack.

“Do you want to come over for dinner after practice tonight?”

A small surprised grin spread over Brett’s face, his eyes lighting up. Something tightened in Liam’s chest. “For sure, dude! If we live through today’s practice.”

An idea sparked in his mind. “You wanna do another bet?”

Brett’s smile turned wicked. “What are you thinking?”

“Last one up the mountain to the checkpoint volunteers as goalkeeper all day today.” Liam smirked. He pulled on his own backpack as he waited for the other’s reaction.

“Please no,” Brett groaned. “That’s my weakest position. I hate playing goalie.”

“Nobody _likes_ having rubber balls fly at their face.” Liam snorted. “Does that mean you’re out, _captain?_ ”

“And deprive the world of seeing you flail around in the net? I don’t think so.”

Liam stuck out his tongue. He opened the door and jumped out before looking back at Brett’s confused face. “All you’re gonna see is my dust!”

“Liam!” Leaving the door open and ignoring everything else, Liam raced away.

 

“So we’re racing, right? But we agreed to take water and snack breaks at the same time. Liam brought this bag of trail mix, and whenever he takes it out it’s like every squirrel nearby is on high alert.” Brett chuckled to himself. “They must’ve followed him all the way to the top of the mountain, hoping he’d drop some peanuts Hansel-and-Gretel style. I guess one got tired of waiting, cause it ambushed him right before he reached the top-”

“He jumped right out of a tree-” Liam added.

“-and landed on his head.”

Todd glanced between the two of them, clearly amused. “So who won the bet?”

“I did.” Liam grinned proudly. “Brett lost because he laughed so hard he tripped.”

“You screamed so loud I thought there was a bear! I didn’t expect to see you surrounded by furry friends with one riding on your shoulder like a freaking Disney movie.”

“I bet it was almost as funny as seeing you get pelted by lacrosse balls during practice today.” Liam smirked.

Brett kept a pleasant smile on his face while he speared a piece of chicken on his plate with a fork. Underneath the table - out of sight of Todd and his mom - Liam felt a sharp kick on his shin.

Taking advantage of Mom and Todd conversing, Liam cut a piece of his own chicken and flicked it across the table. His mom glanced at him sharply, and Liam looked down at his plate.

“It’s not over,” Brett nudged him under the table again. He delivered his threat with a grin. “I’ll get my revenge tomorrow.”

“Are you boys going to work on some homework tonight?”

Mom made several attempts to steer the conversation away from lacrosse, with little success. Most topics she would bring up would break the group discussion to side conversations.

“Is your homework finished?” Brett asked with a teasing smirk.

“Why would I do it now? Usually I get most of the answers out of you on our way back to school. Revenge for all these five am wake up calls.”

“Another early practice?” Todd asked.

Brett’s phone buzzed with an incoming call. He excused himself quickly while Liam nodded. “Absolutely. We haven’t done weight training in a while, so we’re gonna get to the gym for some lifting.”

“What are you doing for practice then?”

“Coach booked the pool for us!” Liam beamed. “We’ve been working on conditioning this week, but he wanted some variation.”

“Ah, that’s a negative. Sorry Liam, Coach just cancelled practice tomorrow.” Brett informed him grimly as he came back in the dining room.

Liam stared at him. “That’s impossible. Coach hasn’t cancelled a practice in his entire time at Devenford.”

“I know. But his car broke down on the highway on his way home. He’s stranded in the next town over until further notice.” He slid back into his seat.

“But we have scrimmage Thursday!”

“It probably means we’ll have double practice Wednesday.” Brett shrugged. “He won’t let us go into the game if he thinks we’re not ready.”

Todd nodded in agreement. “I’m sure he’ll make it up to you boys.”

“Do you think - maybe - we might be able to practice tomorrow then?” Liam asked hopefully. “The team we’re against is intense - I could use all the help I could get.”

With a deep sigh, Todd shook his head. “Sorry, son. I really need to get settled back in the hospital. I’m sure Brett has it handled, sounds like he’s working you to the bone.”

“Liam’s a natural. Hardly needs my help.” Brett said easily.

Embarrassed, Liam couldn’t think of anything else to do but kick Brett under the table.

Brett winked. “He’s almost as good as me.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> If you like, please leave comments and kudos!!


	13. Chapter 13

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ... I don't even have an excuse. Not one that can justify the sporadic updating + way too long hiatuses anyway. Sorry I'm the worst.

Wondering idly what time it was, Liam debated the pros of waking up. His mind was still foggy, and he easily could slip back under the haze of sleep. He could try squeezing out a few more minutes before an alarm rang. He rolled over.

_Thud!_

“Wha-” Brett bolted upright, wrapped up in a blanket burrito.

Liam waved at him from the ground. Trying to catch his breath from the fall, he wheezed. “Hi.”

“Only you.” Brett snorted. He reached towards Liam and helped haul him up on the couch next to him.

Liam hastily tucked both hands under his thighs, trying not to focus on how soft and warm Brett’s hand felt in his.

“Wait, what time is it?” Brett lowered his voice to a whisper and looked around the dark living room.

Squinting, Liam checked the time on the DVD player’s display. “Almost six, mom and Todd have probably left for work already.”

Brett relaxed and dramatically cast the blankets on the floor and Liam realized Brett slept shirtless.

Heat flooded the back of his neck and the tips of his ears. “Please tell me we didn’t fall asleep playing Mario Kart?” Liam hoped Brett would still attribute his breathlessness to his fall.

“You crashed Bowser into me twice before fishtailing off rainbow road. I didn’t realize you were actually asleep until I crossed the finish line.”

“You shouldn’t have slept on the couch though, why didn’t you wake me?” Liam asked.

“You just looked so darn cute, I couldn’t bear to disturb you.” Brett mocked, fluttering his eyelashes.

The blush flooded through his cheeks. “Save that charm for your new _fans_. Or did you not get enough attention from the cheerleaders flocking you after practice yesterday?”

“You jealous?” Brett smirked.

Liam shook his head. “Those girls aren’t the kind of attention I’m looking for.”

There was a beat of silence, and what he’d just said sank in. Why did he have to specify? Was that too obvious? Would Brett even notice -  

“Mine either.” Brett said casually. “Cheerleaders aren’t really my type.”

“So, hypothetically. What is your type?” Liam was grateful for the darkness, and the confidence it gave him with the illusion of privacy.

He felt the couch shift as Brett shrugged. “Haven’t thought about it in a while. Nobody’s really caught my eye. Guys or girls.”

Liam swallowed hard. “Me either.”

“Guys or girls?” Brett asked softly.

Mutely, he nodded. Then he remembered the lights, so he whispered. “No. Nobody.” A million questions raced through his mind, each trying to push itself to the forefront of his thoughts. “Why haven’t you thought about it?”

“With practice and a bunch of stuff going on, haven’t had the chance.”

“Does ‘stuff’ explain why your parents are always gone?” Liam blurted, immediately regretting the question.

“Nah, more like I’ve been too busy trying to teach some punk how to play lacrosse.” Brett effortlessly deflected, but his teasing seemed forced.

Liam deflated, standing up to turn the lights on.

“Maybe... I don’t need to think about it. Maybe I’ve been getting all the attention I need.”

 _From the punk who can’t play lacrosse?_ Liam bit his tongue to keep from asking. That couldn’t be what Brett meant. It couldn’t possibly have to do with him.

Before either of them could say anything else, the lights suddenly flickered on. Liam’s mom stood in the doorway, dressed for work, and for a moment she just looked at the two of them before she spoke. “Morning. Would Brett like a snack before heading out?”

Brett frowned. “Um, sure? Thought we could hang out until school started.” He glanced between Liam and his mom. “If that’s alright with you?”

“You hungry? We can head out early and grab some food.” Liam asked. When Brett nodded, and he gestured for his friend to go on up to his room.

He hovered uncertainly before his mom, waiting to see there was anything she wanted to say. She simply turned toward the kitchen as if the tense exchange never happened. Liam sighed and hurried upstairs to where Brett was sitting on his bed.

“So what’s the plan? Swimming? Hiking? Weight lifting?”

“Why don’t we take the day off today?” Brett suggested. He sensed Liam about to protest and hurried on. “Coach is probably going to run us into the ground tomorrow, so why not rest up while we can?”

Liam didn’t argue. He left to grab some towels from the linen closet and handed them to Brett. “Alright. You wanna shower first? Hurry up so we can get in a donut run before school.”

“Donut run?” Brett raised his eyebrows.

“If Coach kills us tomorrow, let’s make the most of today!” Brett’s laugh echoed down the hall behind him as he headed for the bathroom.

 

Brett took his advice, driving straight to the nearest Dunkin Donuts to stock up. Liam snuck two orders for some ridiculously large, sugary coffees that made Brett raise an eyebrow as they climbed back in the car.

“Those things stunt your growth.”

Liam laughed and thrust the second one at him. “In that case, you might need to get hooked up to an IV so maybe you’ll shrink down to a normal size.”

“Shut up and pass me a donut.”

They parked in the school lot with time to spare, allowing them to demolish the rest of the dozen. Liam had a double chocolate donut midchew when Brett spoke up.

“My parents work for my aunt. They work as emissaries, so they have to travel a lot.”

“Um, what?” he choked out.

Brett gave him a small smile. “My aunt runs a small - um - _business._ Well, more like a volunteer group with a dozen or so others. She’s in charge, but everyone is pretty much equal. It’s like a family really - they all follow orders, train each other, support each other, many of them even live together. Sometimes they even switch jobs but what my parents usually do is something like recruiting.”

“That sounds pretty cool.” Liam admitted. “But how can they just leave you and Lori like that?”

“Like I said, we’re a family. Whenever they have to go somewhere they leave me in charge, but someone from the pa - _company_ always stays behind to keep an eye on us, if anything goes wrong. We miss them a lot, sure, but we always know we’re never alone.”

Just like before, hundreds of questions flooded Liam’s mind. “Why are you telling me this?”

Instead of answering, Brett climbed out of the car. He walked Liam all the way to his first class before replying.

“You’re always honest with me. I want to return the favor.” Brett admitted. He opened his mouth to say more then seemed to change his mind, and he frowned.

And they were in the living room again, where Liam easily admitted to Brett his new found preferences - an admission that had taken a week of building the courage to say it out loud to Mason. “Thanks, Brett. And thank you for listening.”

A slow smile spread across his friend’s face, making his eyes bright. “Just making sure you know you’re not alone either. Punk.” With a wink Brett turned and sauntered down the hallway.

 

“You want to hang out with Mason?” Liam asked Brett when they met up at his car.

 **Liam:** Help

 **Mason:** ?

“Mason? Oh yeah, I saw him recently.” Brett smirked, like he’d just told a joke. “I’m glad you guys are talking again. Sure.”

“Great,” Liam mumbled.

 **Liam:** On our way to pick you up

The three of them ended up deciding to go to the public pool after all.

“Don’t even think of training, or making those weird bets you guys do.” Mason warned. “It’s your day off, and watching you guys show off is exhausting.”

Liam snorted and dunked Mason’s head under water.

“Says the kid who almost climbed up on a table at Sinema.” Brett smirked. He nudged Liam. “I ran into this guy at the club downtown the other night, going all out.”

“If you’d seen the guy already dancing up there, you would’ve joined me.” He wiggled his eyebrows.

“He was cute,” Brett agreed. “Did you get his number?”

Mason shook his head. “Nah, not many guys there are into high school freshmen.”

“Maybe your wingman could’ve helped, if he’d been asked to come.” Liam said meaningfully, pretending to glare.

The other two laughed and Brett touched him again, resting his arm against Liam’s shoulder. “We can go next time. Maybe the the two of us can trick someone into being Mason’s date.”

Of course Brett got along with Mason - and the same was true for his best friend who wasn’t even bothered he was being teased. Liam thought it was just an adult thing, Brett’s ability to charm Coach and Todd. How could he effortlessly connect with everyone important to Liam, and fit so seamlessly into his life?

After a few more hours they load back into Brett’s car. Liam was too caught up in his head to say much and simply waved goodbye as he drove away. Before he can even get to his room, his phone rang.

“I think I like him,” Liam blurted out before Mason even said anything.

There was a beat of silence where he could picture the eye roll happening on the other end of the line. “You’re in love with him. Please tell him so I never have to watch your gross flirt/pining ever again.”

“I think I like him.” he whispered again.

 

The next day Liam felt ready. Mostly. Bolstered by the hour-long conversation last night with Mason, he could do this. Maybe.

Unfortunately, Brett wasn’t able to pick him up for school the next morning and by the time practice rolled around Liam’s confidence had deflated faster than a popped balloon. Which was fine, because the double practice to make up for yesterday involved so much running up and down the bleachers that nobody could pant out more than one or two words at a time.

After a second call to Mason that night, Liam went to school the next day ready (probably). His mom insisted on driving him for the second time.

The moment the bell rang Liam raced to the locker rooms in hopes of catching Brett alone for even a few seconds. But his friend was nowhere to be found until the team was all geared up and sitting in front of their lockers.

Coach and Brett emerged from the office, beaming. Liam knew exactly what just happened, and tried to catch his eye but the new captain’s gaze was sweeping over the team as a whole. Everyone was buzzing and it doesn’t take long for Liam to get swept up in the enthusiasm of the players.

They stormed the field, confident and focused. The moment the whistle blew, every worry and distraction Liam had was shoved into a box deep in his mind. Devenford got the ball first, and seconds later it was in Liam’s possession.

Coach’s voice across the field was as clear as if the man were next to him, ordering a cross to midfield.

Halfway through the game Liam realized something nagging at him. Whenever Liam got the ball, Coach immediately called for a pass to the nearest player even if his teammate wasn’t fully open to score. After another one of these calls that ended in a three-player collision with the ball on the ground, Liam scooped it up and fired a shot himself.

It went in. And if Liam ignored Coach’s calls two more times and scored twice more, it’s alright. They’re winning.

Ten minutes were left in the game before the other team called a timeout. Liam’s teammates high fived him as they huddled up and he tried to return them subtly in front of Coach, but judging by the look on his face Liam wasn’t successful.

“You think you call the shots, Dunbar?” Coach asked mockingly. “You’re benched.”

His teammate, Kit Gains defended him. “Javi and I were covered, Coach. Liam saw an opening and he took it.”

Coach only shook his head and looked at him in disgust. “Sit down.”

“But I scored!”

Someone scoffed, and it wasn’t Coach. “You didn’t follow the play. You’re out.”

“Brett -”

But the timeout is over. The other players jogged back onto the field as Coach all but shoved Liam onto the bench. He didn't take his eyes off Brett, even after Devenford won and his teammates trudged back into the locker room.

The win doesn’t soften Coach’s attitude whatsoever, as he used the post-game meeting to remind everyone the importance of following the rules. He said most of this with pointed glares at Liam.

“I do have two announcements. Next week is our first game. As it’s officially the start of the new season, we have a great surprise. Everyone, say hello to your new captain. Brett Talbot.”

Liam’s the first to cheer, though it sounded fake and weak to his own ears. Brett didn’t even look at him.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks to anyone who's stuck with this, it means the world to me


	14. Chapter 14

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I feel like I'm constantly changing how I describe lacrosse games. Anyone who knows more than me, feel free to point out any mistakes!

“Five.”

Liam unclenched his jaw to keep from biting his tongue.

“Four.”

Sweat stung his eyes and his chest burned from lack of oxygen.

“Three.”

Every muscle in his body shook with the effort of keeping him upright.

“And down.” A whistle punctuated the order that released the lacrosse team from their five-minute plank exercise. Everyone let out a collective gasp as they collapsed from their elbows onto their stomachs.

With a groan Liam rolled onto his back and squinted at the bright gymnasium lights. Brett’s smirking face swam in his vision. He almost extended a hand to help Liam up, when Coach’s hand clapped on Brett’s shoulder.

“Alright, practice is over. Great job team.”

Brett beamed. “We did it guys, we’re a real team. All of you have worked so hard and we’ve really come together, I’m proud of everyone. I’m confident we’re going to _crush_ our first game tomorrow.”

As exhausted as they were, the team cheered in earnest. They crawled off the field and to the locker rooms to wash up. Liam showered and dressed slowly. On his way out he lingered by Coach’s open office door.

“Brett?” He knocked hesitantly.

Coach’s grin slid off his face as he looked at Liam coolly. Brett choked midlaugh, waving him in. “Liam, hey!”

“Hey, man. Did you decide if-”

“Coach and I got caught up talking strategy.” Brett explained sheepishly. Before Liam could offer to wait, he continued. “It could honestly take all night.”

“Right, of course I-”

Brett caught his eye and his face softened. “We’ll hang out tomorrow, promise. The whole team can go out and celebrate after we win.”

The team. Of course. “Absolutely.” Liam caught the calculating look on Coach’s face as he shifted his gaze to the floor. He quickly and quietly backed out of the office.

 

At the sound of the front door shutting, Mom’s voice drifted from the kitchen. “Welcome home, sweetie. How was school?”

“Fine.” He grunted, flinging his backpack down by the door. He went to the kitchen to find Todd cooking dinner while she mixed lemonade in a pitcher. He grabbed the utensils for three place settings and set the table quickly before collapsing into a chair.

Todd raised his eyebrows at him. “I take Brett took a rain check on dinner here?”

“He had better things to do.” Liam mumbled. His mom did her best to look concerned, though the sentiment was ruined by the tiny, pleased smile she tried to hide.

“I’m sure he’s just distracted. Big day tomorrow!” Todd grinned.

Liam sighed. “I guess.”

The two of them looked at each other and set the food on the table. Liam merely listened as they began to talk about Todd’s job transfer.

Since the honeymoon, Todd realized that the hospital could easily function without him due to the abundance of doctors on staff. After some research, he identified a hospital that was some distance away with a high turnover rate that Todd felt could really use his help more. He and Mom knew it was risky, but nevertheless they both agreed Todd could do the most good at Beacon Hills Memorial Hospital.

As Liam pushed his food around on his plate, he could feel more than one set of eyes on him. “What time is your game tomorrow, Liam?” Todd tried to engage him.

“Starts at one.”

“It’s Saturday, so your mom is off and I’m not due at the new hospital until Monday. We’ll both be there to cheer you on.”

“Are you guys ready?” Mom asked. Even she looked confused by his lack of enthusiasm.

“Not everyone thinks so.” Admitting that brought back memories of Brett’s strange behavior this last week.

One moment everything was normal; Brett talked and teased Liam like he was used to. Captain Brett was a completely different story - bossing Liam around left and right as if he’d never played lacrosse in his life.

Liam banged his head on the table. Even Brett’s sporadic texts carried a tone of condescension.

“Tell you what,” A plate clattered and he lifted his head to look at Todd. “After dinner, how about you and I do some drills in the backyard?”

Liam had never eaten faster in his life.

 

“Yeah, so Brett’s been weird. Too busy to hang out and stuff. Mason’s been pretty busy too.” Liam lobbed the lacrosse ball across the backyard.

Todd caught it effortlessly. “Busy with school?”

An innocent question, but his tone made it feel loaded. “I guess so. We’ve all got tests and stuff.”

“Would you say your friends have you a little distracted from your own schoolwork?” Liam slowly lowered his lacrosse stick as Todd continued. “Your Latin teacher called about your last test.”

Liam groaned. Todd shot him a look. “C’mon son, you know the deal you have with your mom. You stay on the team if you keep your grades up-”

“Of course! She put you up to this didn’t she?”

“Ms. Bryn left a message while your mom was at work! Mom doesn’t even know yet, stop trying to always make her out as the bad guy.” Todd said sternly.

_No, of course that’s me._

Todd seemed to take his expression as a signal to end the short-lived practice. “I know you’ve got a lot to worry about right now. We’ll talk about this tomorrow after the game, okay?”

With a half-hearted smile, Liam followed Todd into the house.

 

Medication never did anything for Liam’s anxiety. As much as it tempered the rage from flooding over him, anxiety felt as if his heart tumbled over the edge of a waterfall plunging down to rock bottom.

Even the electric vibe in the locker room couldn't affect him. Not after the conversation with Todd last night and, more recently, the conversation with his Latin teacher. Not after the friendly but distant smile from Brett - ever decorous.

Neither he or Coach said much, though they paced around like expectant fathers while the team got ready.

They joined the opposing team - the Fighting Knights - on their half of the field to warm up. Player 8 immediately caught Liam’s eye. He seemed to be showing off, pulling trick shots effortlessly. He paired up with a teammate for drills and purposefully sent the ball sailing past them with all his strength. Even when the Knights practiced shooting on a goal, the players acting on defense and goalie flinched away as it seemed #8 was more than happy to tackle players from his own team.

“Liam, you’re defense.” Coach grunted during the huddle. Liam didn’t bother fighting him. “Stay on 8. Kid is strong, but wastes a lot of energy.”

“We’re faster than them,” Brett agreed, addressing everyone. “Definitely smarter. We can out smart them. We can win.”

The rest of the team nodded solemnly just as the starting whistle blew.

 

In the first quarter, Liam had been knocked down no less than six times. By the end of the first half, #8 had scored three times. Between congratulating Brett on his own goals and advising the midfielder on a play, Coach simply gave him a stern look.

The second half barely began before Liam was on the ground, again. He sprang to his feet and got right up in the masked face of #8. The other player simply laughed and pushed past him, ramming his shoulder against Liam’s so hard his teeth rattled.

Liam whirled around and saw the other player make ‘come here’ motions with his gloves. He got right up in his face once more and could make out a smug smirk through the helmet netting.

“Stand down, Dunbar.” Coach shouted.

With great effort, Liam forced himself still. He did nothing when the ref blew a whistle while waving a yellow card in the air. Beacon Hills called a timeout and Coach stormed over to him on the field. The rest of the team circled around him and took a knee.

“What the hell? You _trying_ to get kicked out?”

Liam choked. “I didn’t do anything!”

“He’s too volatile right now.” A voice said from behind him. “Maybe he should sit out.”

He whirled around, betrayed. “Brett!” His friend shared a long look with Coach but didn’t say anything more.

“Why is it always _my_ fault?” Liam felt tears of frustration burn his eyes. “I didn’t touch him!”

“Quit provoking him then. One more foul and you’re out.”

 

It took one more second, one player, and one _completely illegal_ slide tackle for Liam to lose it. Any hold of self-control completely snapped when his head cracked against the goal post, crushed against #8. For a moment he feared he’d bitten clean through his tongue.

“You _fucking_ -” His words slurred around the blood filling his mouth. Liam managed to land one punch before several hands grabbed the back of his jersey and hauled him back.

After drawing him far enough away, most of the hands let him go except for one, dragging him all the way to the bench.

Coach spat on the grass. “Hope you liked your fifteen minutes of fame. You’re benched for the next game.”

A spark of rage lit within him, burning his veins, boiling his blood. “ _I_ didn’t do anything.”

No response.

“I _didn’t do_ anything.”

A snort, nothing more.

“ _I didn’t do anything!”_

Coach merely looked at him in disgust. “Go have your little temper tantrum off the field.”

Time slowed down. There was a roaring in his ears and his vision blurred as if he was in the center of a cyclone of rage. For a moment the only image he could see was Coach’s face before -

Liam blacked out.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ❤️❤️❤️ thanks for reading


	15. Chapter 15

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Happy new year lovelies ❤❤

Colors swam in scenes that didn’t make sense. His hot, metallic blood was all he could taste and his own pounding heart was all he could hear. The whole world was distorted, as if he were underwater -  and the water was boiling and his thoughts were swimming and his skin was too tight and - he was _drowning_.

For a moment a familiar face appeared before him, and he scanned the features while desperately trying to contain the flood inside him.

Dark eyes, dark skin, short, dark hair - _“-help - find - Mom-”_

It was too much. Too hot. Too much pressure inside him. Building up, crushing his chest, taking him over. He had to let it out.

Liam searched for a way out. A sea of faces on either side had him stumble back blindly. He thought he felt a light touch, cool on his burning skin, and he all but fled until the noise and lights grew dimmer.

He closed his eyes for a moment before trying to make sense of where he was. Before him: yellow… truck? Six wheels, twelve windows. School bus. There was nobody in sight and Liam was tempted to climb in. He accidentally kicked a crowbar lying by one of the wheels and the metal clang made his head spin.

Instead Liam leaned back against it while trying to get his breathing under control.

The heat was simmering, anger slowly dissipating away like vapor. He took in the car in front of him, hoping the details would help ground him even more.

Green, four wheels, four windows. Faculty parking sticker. Liam circled the car slowly. He recognized the license plate.

One minute it really seemed like it worked, like Liam contained his anger inside of himself without any repercussions. The bloody tongue and possible concussion was all his own. Nobody else was hurt. Until his final pillar of control crumbled like a dam breaking, and all the rage went flooding out.

Every wary glance from his teachers, all the whispers from students in the hall. His reputation had grown quite a bit - it was rare now for him to walk into a room without everyone in it knowing who he was - and having something to say about it.

Liam’s anger doused those memories with ugly, violent colors. They pulsed brightly in his vision and for a moment there seemed to be a spotlight on the crowbar he kicked earlier. The next second there was hot metal on his tongue and cold metal in his hands.

Darker thoughts shadowed more recent memories - his arguments with Mason, with Todd, his mom.

Everything Coach ever said to him. What Brett said right before Liam fled. Brett’s face when - _Brett’s face_.

“Brett?” He croaked. “Where am I? What are you -”

His friend lowered his phone and gave him a stony glare. “How could you do this?”

Confused, Liam reached out for him before he realized something was in his hands already. The crowbar fell against the green car’s front bumper with a _clang_.

“Shit -” Coach would kill him if he dinged a headlight. He flinched away until he backed into the school bus. Glass crunched under his feet. “What happened? How did I get to the parking lot?”

“Thought you needed help. Guess you did just fine.” Brett clenched his jaw.

Liam rubbed his hands over his eyes, waking up from the fever dream. When he opened them again he caught sight of the car - or what was left of it.

Coach’s prized car now featured shattered windows, deep scratches in the paint and dents where metal had beaten in metal.

A cold sliver of worry shot down his spine. “Did I-”

Without a word Brett showed Liam his phone. For the first time, Liam could watch one of his ‘episodes’. It was difficult for him to connect himself and his actions to the time he blacked out. He honestly wasn’t surprised by his destruction, but with each video loop he could feel icy dread gripping his heart tightly. Coach was going _die_ when he found out-

“Delete that.” Liam swallowed hard.

Brett raised his eyebrows. “Why?”

“Please, Brett. I’m begging you.” He reached for his friend’s hand but Brett took a deliberate step away and slipped his phone in the back pocket of his jeans.

“You know, Coach loves this car. Washes it every Sunday, never takes it to tailgates, doesn’t even let any of us ride in it. Only other person he let drive it is me. This is my fault, really.”

“What do you mean?”

“When you came back, we argued about letting you stay on the team. I went against his order, and stuck my neck out for you. Is this is how you thank me - and Coach - for letting you play?”

Liam’s mouth dropped open. “‘I made this team because I work my ass off to be good at this! And I am good, even with you and Coach breathing down my neck during every move I make!

“We were trying to give you some control, Liam! Being a part of any team wouldn’t work without it. I thought Coach was helping you, that I was helping you.”

“You are, Brett. Having you has been so great-”

“I thought we were making progress-”

“You mean a lot to me-”

“But it’s obvious you don’t need anyone but yourself.” Brett wasn’t budging on this.

“It’s just a car! We can talk about his later, Brett just please, don’t tell Coach.”

Brett gave him a small smirk, like he would have a week ago if he beat Liam at Mario Kart. Liam dared letting out a breath. His friend shrugged. “Already did.”

Liam’s blood ran cold. Just then a small group of people appeared from behind the bus. Coach, the Principal, a few members of the team. They circled Brett and the ruined car, their faces all identical masks of fury. A few more people rushed over after them.

Mom, Todd, Mason. His best friend went immediately to his side by the bus while his parents hovered between both groups of people.

Coach seemed to have caught his explosive rage, screaming words like _‘catastrophic damage’ ‘lawsuit’_ and _‘expulsion’._ The principal instead seemed to seethe quietly, nodding along with what Coach was saying. They glared at Liam with hate in their eyes.

Liam couldn’t bear to see any fear in his parents’ gaze. He had no choice to keep his eyes locked on Brett’s. The once-friendly face he’d memorized no longer held the spark that lit Liam up inside. Instead the cruel twist to his features froze him in place until Mason pulled him to the side.

He’d expected his parents to join the other side, next to Brett while they placated the principal. Mason dragged Liam over to them but they didn’t move away. Todd squeezed his shoulders briefly, while his mom hooked a finger under his chin to look him in the eye. He tried in vain to read her face.

The three of them surrounded Liam, hiding him from the slowly growing crowd as more of Liam’s teammates came to investigate the situation. They bundled him into the car and Liam could feel his mom’s sharp eyes on him in the rearview mirror.

Todd halfheartedly tried sending Mason away, but his friend stubbornly planted himself next to Liam on the couch. Liam picked at a cushion.

“Liam.” Mom’s voice caught and she paused to collect herself.

“Are you okay?” Mason asked.

Liam mumbled an assent and held his breath. He braced himself for her rage. After all this, everything he’d done, it was her turn.

“Son, you’re shaking.” Todd said quietly.

“Liam Eugene Dunbar.” Mom said sharply. Liam looked at her, crouching on her knees in front of him. “Oh, my baby. It’s over sweetheart.” She wrapped him in a hug so tight she squeezed a few tears out of him.

A hand rubbed his back and another stroked through his hair and Liam collapsed.

“It’s over.”


	16. Chapter 16

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This might be the longest chapter so far. Hope you guys like it!!

Liam slept for fourteen hours.

Mom and Todd gave each other a look when he finally entered the kitchen, though they let him eat breakfast in peace.

“Honey,” his mom took his plate to the sink for him. “We have to go to Devenford this afternoon. Marietta is meeting us there.” That was the name of a good friend of hers, who also doubled as their family lawyer.

Anxiety flooded his chest though he nodded quietly.

“We have some matters to take care of, and also need to procure your school records for a transfer. It’s Sunday, nobody will be there. Let’s get this over with quickly, ok?”

The unease only grew during the car ride. Last night Liam had been ready for a huge blowout with his mom - and it never happened. Both his parents and Mason had held him for a long time until he no longer felt they were the only thing holding him together. Liam remembered Mason reluctantly leaving before he crashed on the couch. He’d woken up in bed.

His mother never said a word.

The longer it went without her expressing her disappointment, the more tense Liam felt.

Marietta was waiting for them in the parking lot already. She led them to the principal’s office where Liam could see him and Coach already waiting. Before they could see him, Mom pulled him aside.

“You don’t have to be in there if you don’t want to.” She stated.

“I’ll go clean my locker out, or something.” Liam mumbled. Mom stepped into the office confidently, with her lawyer beside her. The door shut after them.

Unsure what else to do, Liam did go to his locker. He’d left his backpack there before the game so he shoved his books and papers in and cleaned everything out. He wandered the halls for a bit and passed the locker room once. Twice.

There was no way anyone was in there.

Very slowly, he pushed the door open. Liam entered quietly, holding his breath as he looked around. There was nobody in sight so he rushed to the locker with his name above it.

**DUNBAR 09**

It hurt more than Liam thought it would. A part of him knew it was ridiculous, after everything. But he’d worked so hard. He shoved everything into his backpack and left quickly.

Mom and the lawyer were leaving the office just as Liam returned. Marietta was scowling while his mom seemed livid. She whirled slammed the door and he cringed back.

“What a hateful man.” Mom spat. “I’ve always known him as a bumbling idiot, but Mr. Bard really proved himself today. Nevermind that principal.”

Liam’s jaw dropped. Even when furious, his mother always kept her manners. He’d never heard her speak that way.

“It’s upsetting they have this mindset for children with behavioral issues.” Marietta shook her head.

“Unfit to teach, both of them.”

“Mom? What happened?” Liam’s question made her jump.

She turned to face him. “Can we talk about this when we get home tonight, honey? I’ll explain everything to you and Todd.”

Liam swallowed. “Sure.”

“Great. We have to stop by the office on our way out. Liam, you can go wait in the car if you’d like.” Mom suggested.

Once again Liam dutifully followed directions. The idea of waiting inside the enclosed space made him uneasy so instead he leaned against the hood of the car.

Just as he pulled out his phone to text Mason, someone approached him. Liam glanced up.

Brett.

“Came to apologize?”

“I could say the same for you.” Brett barked an incredulous laugh and Liam sighed. “You didn’t have to turn me in, Brett.”

The other boy looked even more disbelieving. “Right. And let you get off for what you to the team?”

“I didn’t do anything to the team! They’re like family, I wouldn’t hurt them!”

“You went after the head of the family, Liam. You turned on all of us.”

“Coach barely even considered me part of the team!” Liam yelled. “Not like they did! Not like you did.”

Brett said nothing. Nothing Liam said mattered to him. It probably never did.

The last bit of hope Liam had disappeared. He couldn’t believe how stupid he had been, imagining his feelings were returned. Everything with Brett - everything they did or said to each other - Liam had misinterpreted. Mistook it all for something more than it was.

“You won’t see me after this.” His heart hurt. “And don’t try to talk to me, please.”

“Oh, don’t worry.” Brett nodded. “I won’t.”

 

Todd was already home when they got back. Liam hovered in the kitchen, uncertain whether his parents wanted to have an adult talk before calling him in for any punishment he would get.

Instead his mom guided him to the dining table with a hand on his shoulder. She sat next to Liam rather than Todd on the other side. Nerves prickled under his skin.

“The meeting today did not go well.” Mom began bluntly. “Liam, you have officially been expelled.”

“Your mother and I suspected as such; yesterday we began the process of transferring you.” Todd said.

“You can choose to go to Santa Margarita High, though we’re a little far out from the district. If you’d like, you could also go to Beacon Hills, since you already know some students there.”

Liam didn’t hesitate. “I’ll go with Mason.”

“Excellent. You’ll be starting Beacon Hills on Wednesday, then.” His stepdad nodded.

A tight knot formed in his throat. “Um, thanks. Okay. I’m sorry.”

“What for?” Todd seemed genuinely surprised. Liam couldn’t bring himself to look at either of them.

“You guys want what’s best for me, and I messed it up again.”

“We know you made a mistake, Liam. There’s going to be repercussions, but you owned up to it, and we’re going to move past it.” Todd assured him.

“Actually, it’s not the worst case scenario we thought.” Mom said to Todd. “Marietta managed to shut down their ridiculous lawsuit. Liam has to pay for only part of the damage, and it’ll go back to the school - not Mr. Bard.”

“Then why did you say the meeting didn’t go well?”

There was a beat of silence, and Liam risked looking up from the table. His mom looked sheepish. “We weren’t very professional. I may have lost my temper. Yelled a bit.”

“Are you going to yell at me too?” Maybe asking outright would provoke her. Liam could sit through it and do away with the uncertainty of when the inevitable would happen.

Mom frowned. “Your father and I are upset, but sweetheart, nobody wants to yell at you. Can I ask why you think-”

“You lost your temper because of me.” He swallowed the lump in his throat. “I-I’m always messing up. Mess _everything_ up.”

“Liam-”

“No!” His voice cracked. “I keep doing dumb things and making mistakes! I get so mad I break things! I _hurt_ people! I know that’s why mom doesn’t trust me. Why she always checks up on my meds. Why she didn’t want me hanging out with Brett or playing lacrosse.”

Mom shot Todd a look and he left without a word. He only went as far as the kitchen so as to be able to hear them but give still give Liam and his mom a semblance of privacy. She turned in her chair to face him directly.

“I don’t know where to start.” She sighed. “Lacrosse might be the best way to ease into it. I never wanted you to _not_ play.”

Liam didn’t mean to let out a snort.

“I just never wanted you to play for Mr. Bard.” Mom wrinkled her nose like she smelled something rotten. “I’ve known that man a long time. Before we moved, I sat through countless training camps he’s run for you and not _once_ did he ever give you the support or attention you deserved.”

Mom had been watching? Had she paid attention for his skill rather than for signs of an approaching meltdown?

“Liam, the reason I lost my temper with the principal today was not because of what you did.” His mom was more serious now. “It was in response of the way those two men reacted, on the fact they wanted an unfair, extreme punishment inflicted on a child.

“Upon our arrival, the two of them immediately claimed they would sue and throw you in jail. Marietta had to remind them several you could not be tried as an adult; at most you would be tried through a juvenile court system. They moved on to demand you pay restitution for more than the damages were worth. Bard suggested an entire host of ridiculous things - including a form of indentured servitude to him - that the principal backed him up on. They clearly intended to embarrass you. They wanted to hurt you.

“At first, Marietta advised me to try to work with them for some compromise. The moment it became clear to her the magnitude of their bias against you, she called a contact in the school board and had me explain the situation from the very beginning. The official told those two men what we already knew.

With no evidence of Devenford ever accommodating or even acknowledging the terms of behavioral issues - not just for you but for _any_ student at that school - they were in violation of school discipline rights. You’re protected, not against destroying a car, but legally, against unfair treatment because of your IED. We didn’t have anything on the principal, but we did have accounts from your teammates of your coach deliberately provoking you. Their argument fell apart, and the school board official - the vice president in fact - requested you pay some property damage to the school. There’s more to it, but that’s the gist.”

Liam stared at her, wide-eyed. “You never wanted me to quit?” Was all he could ask as he digested the information.

“Of course not.” His mom’s eyes softened. “How could I ask that, when you loved it so much? I was worried all the extra pressure Bard had on you would impact your IED, with medicine or no.”

“You just wanted me to take my meds so I would be prepared to deal with him.” Liam realized.

“I didn’t trust him to watch out for you.” His mom admitted. “I didn’t want anything to happen with him, your games or your schoolwork. I only wanted to know which medication helped you most deal with all of that. Now I realize how it must have seemed. The hovering, the nagging, all of it must have made you feel even worse. I’m so sorry.”

He made eye contact with her. For a long time he’d avoided that, too afraid what he’d see reflected there. Right now her face was pinched in a mix of regret and concern and it finally sank in what his mom really did for him today. She was on his side through it all. Always had been, even when Liam expected the worst.

The tears Liam tried so hard to fight back finally slipped down his face.

“Me too.” He leaned over and hugged his mom tightly.

 

At some point during their conversation Todd was paged to the hospital. Mom read out his text and they both laughed at how they hadn’t even noticed. She called for takeout and Liam set up a sitcom on TV so they could curl up on the couch. Mom ran her fingers through his hair.

A knock on the door broke them apart. Liam wiped his face and went to go answer it to find nobody there.

He took a few steps out and looked around, noticing a car parked a little way down the street. It looked familiar and Liam almost tripped as he tried to get a closer look. His lacrosse bag lay at his feet.

Before he could decide whether or not to go up to Brett, his mom pushed past him and beat him to it.

“I hate that I was right about you.” She was saying calmly as Liam jogged over. “I wanted so badly to believe you would help him.”

“Mom, let’s go.” He grabbed her arm to pull her away. Brett’s gaze seemed to burn his skin but he refused to meet his eyes.

“You let him get close to you, trust you. He really needed you, and you let that go as if it were _nothing!_ ” Her voice rose a little as Liam got her almost inside. “You never deserved any of it.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for reading! I'd love a comment or kudos if you did :D


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